I realize my 4'8 stature is intimidating to most people therefore making it hard to ask all those questions they've been dying to know the answer to. Am I totally reading your mind or what?! It's okay. Don't be embarrassed. I'm a terribly interesting person so I understand the curiosity. Breathe a sigh of relief, because today is your lucky day.
Should I have passed out sick bags before making you read all that? My apologies. I had to hype up the post so you guys wouldn't notice that I'm totally copping out of the Focus52 challenge this week.
(shout out to LBB for the meme questions)
1. What must you do before you go to bed at night?
I MUST take my phone with me so I can read or watch something before going to bed. If you must know, I do my phone HARD. I honestly don't know how it's still working. I'm waiting for it to give up on this bitch. I do my grocery lists on it.I Facebook on it. I tweet on it.I take pictures and video with it. It's my alarm clock, my assistant, my friend, my therapist, my lover. If there was a penis app, I would give it a blow job but for now, I just fondle it relentlessly.
2. What is one thing you must snack on at the theater?
I LOVE popcorn with Reeses pieces in it. I have to physically restrain myself from putting the bucket on like a feedbag and only stopping to come up for air....and even then, I'd still debate on whether I want to breath air or continue inhaling the salty, sweet and peanut butter heaven up my face.
3. Before going on vacation what must you do?
Well BEFORE I had little people coming out of me, all I needed was a book and a snack. NOWADAYS, I will take anything I need to take to keep the little people quiet and amused during the flight. If I want to pack lightly, I give them both a Benadryl cocktail....now, now, don't call CPS just yet, I'm just kidding. Although, I've thought about giving the cocktail to the Viking hubby who turns into a nervous, pearl clutchin' Grandma when he's on a plane.
4. What is one thing you must do every day?
I MUST make all the beds. I am far from being a neat freak. In fact, 80 percent chaos is the norm for my house but the beds are always, ALWAYS made. When a bed is unmade in my house, I have tunnel vision all day and the only vision in that tunnel is the unmade bed taunting me and insulting my bed making skills....which isn't even that good. For all the stress that I put on myself for making the beds, I could at least be excellent at it, which I'm not. I fluff out the pillows, throw covers over it and don't even entertain the thought of tucking a corner or smoothing a sheet. What am I? Martha Stewart? So maybe I should rephrase my first sentence; I MUST have the ILLUSION that all the beds are made.
5. Is there something you do that must be done in a particular order?
Put on my bra immediately as my massive mammers are not allowed to EVER roam free. Drink coffee. Drop a deuce. Check Facebook. After those four things have been done in that order, I go about and proceed life with my pinky up like the lady that I am.
Now see? Aren't you glad we did that? I feel so close to you now. So close that if you were here, I would spoon you while we watched badly made movies together on Lifetime.