This Blog Post Has A.D.D.

After having several small heart attacks and "sleep Vogue-ing" in the middle of the night, my psychiatr..er.. I mean... "doctor" has advised me to buy Madonna tickets as soon as possible and call him in the morning. So I did just that. I gave in. I could NOT hold out until the day of the concert in "hopes" that I get a floor seat and most of all, I COULD NOT stand NOT having tickets in my possesion within minutes of the box office opening. For her Drowned World Tour, I got tickets within two minutes of the box office opening and for her Reinvention Tour, I got tickets in literally seconds. Having NO ticket DAYS after the box office opened caused a mild rupture in my brain which resulted in some uncontrollable drooling and spontaneous barking at strangers.

Not attractive.

SO after the second date for Los Angeles was announced, I snatched up my ticket and got a note from my doctor that I was safe enough to go out into the general public once again. I got VERY LUCKY with my ticket too. ..I did not get floor seats but I got the risers right above the floor, which is good for a midget like myself. For Reinvention Tour, I got Loge 9, which was super CLOSE to the stage. I am even closer this year AND she has a runway running on either end of the stage. Holy cow! I'm so excited I think I might re-injure myself!

I also looked on Ebay for tickets and prices are going from the ridiculous to the completely insane for seats that are WORSE than mine! I mean, I LOVE Madonna but paying THIS much for a front row ticket is NUTS. And that's coming from ME...( cuckoo! cuckoo!)
I wouldn't pay that even if Madonna and Guy Ritchie provided "special favors" for me after the show!!! I mean, I would certainly pause and think about it sure.....
AND Coachella is in less than 3 WEEKS!!!! YAAAAAAAYYYYYYAAAAAYYYY!!! Me and Madonna in a small tent!!!

I think I just soiled myself.

In other news... (I'll change my pants later) .....show of hands how many people thought that this kiss:




















Looked at lot like this kiss:











You too huh!? At first I thought it was Michael and Ryan kissing, which, oddly enough, was easier to wrap my brain around than Ryan actually kissing a WOMAN.

on other, other news....

It seems like there is nothing on television these days but new reality shows coming out of the woodwork.. I gave a few of them a try and most of them were dead on arrival. Top Chef was one that I just couldn't vibe with. Although it had the lure of food, it also had bitchy chefs. Making food and being an ass is like eating a Cinnabon while you're taking a shit. It just doesn't go. I don't want a cupful of your anger with a side of chip on the shoulder. Thanks. Top Chef should be a cast of fat, cherub like folk, who smile, laugh and make awesome food. Food and drama just don't mix. Another one that got my panties in a bunch was "The Real Housewives of The OC," or something like that. Listen, I'm the first to admit that I'm amused by the antics of rich stupid folks... I watch Laguna Beach for goodness sakes'. But there is a GIANT difference between teenagers who are being teenagers..(except they have money) and ADULTS who are being teenagers, with money AND WITH kids. I could barely make it through the show without throwing my remote at the television. Things, things things, these things will make me who I AM. If I get a nip, tuck, injections, boob job, hair extensions, etc. etc. I will be more worthy. And HEY, while I'm at it, it will show the kids that what they possess and what they look like, is what makes them who they are! Great fucking parenting asswipes. I swear, the Laguna Beach teenagers seem more civil that these sad ass, "grown women" who "have it all." If THAT is "having it all," then no thanks, I'll keep my postage sized condo, in my so so neighborhood, my comfortable, no brand clothes from Target, (wha wha! God I love Target), my six year old truck and my NATURAL boobies that stay up with a little help from a bra and nothing else, just as long as my daughter grows up knowing that in our house, you're celebrated and rewarded for ideas and THINKING and not for "things" and the brand name on your ass! Sorry..I don't mean to get preachy but that show really chapped my hide! I mean, seriously, its nice to have good stuff, its nice to laugh and point at celebrities but to fashion yourself, your life and your KIDS purely through material things is disturbing and CPS should be called on yo ass! And it's not just on television, if you live in L.A. you know this is REAL and its sad. (I guess its happening in Arizona too.. check out Debi's blog about Trendy Parents. ) SCAWY.

Oh and just in case you were wondering...my hair has now reached The David Cassidy Stage:



Please someone give me a kick in the ass the next time I get decide to cut all my hair off please.

This post blows. So let's wrap this up before it gets ugly.

So in summary, I got Madonna tickets, blah blah blah blah, david cassidy hair, blah blah blah,
I GOT MADONNA TICKETS, blah blah blah, I see Madonna in less than three weeks, blah blah, Madonna. The end.

Forgive me.