Tuesday, December 22, 2009

It's Not The Restroom Baby....

First off, thanks to everyone who gave me advice on my log poop problems. I inadvertently fixed my own problem because lately I've been craving spicy food and I want to put chili lime salt on everything! In turn, that's made me drink a lot of water, keeping me well hydrated (which I'm usually bad at). This is helping the conveyor belt move things along quite nicely.

Anyways enough about poo (I know, I can't believe I'm purposely getting off the topic of poo. Historical moment, mark it on your calendar.) - this past week has been the longest week in history because we moved, AGAIN. Locally, not too far - the size of our house and our rent is significantly smaller which is just fine with us, especially with the baby coming. And really, that huge house we were in was nice until I realized it took a full 24 hours just to vacuum the place and don't get me started on the bathrooms. Viking hubby and I practically had to work in shifts to get everything clean. So yeah, small house? = better. Writing a rent check that doesn't make my asshole pucker up and eat my own underwear? = Priceless.

In the middle of all the chaos of moving was my little munchkin's birthday which we celebrated at Sea World. (Had to keep it kind of low key on the party scene since we didn't really know where we were going to end up a month ago.) She turned 6 and when we measured the growing girl, we discovered that she's 3'8 which means she is 1 foot away from being the same height as me. God was really not in the mood when it was my turn to get torso. It's like he cut a normal torso in half, gave the bigger portion to me and the other portion to Verne Troyer.

On the pregnancy front, now that my poop issues are out of the way (smoothly and without struggle I might add), I actually forget I'm pregnant. Well up until I get hungry. It comes at me like a tidal wave. One minute I'll be just fine and the next minute I'm in such desperate need for food that if Verne Troyer was around, I'd bbq his little ass and eat him with a side of rice.

Please don't ask me why Verne Troyer is the ongoing theme of this blog post. The man just pops into my head at random times and haunts me....

Merry Christmas and you're welcome.

Tonight I'm off to see Kathy Griffin do a book signing in La Jolla. I'm very excited even though the weather has been in the 30's in the evening and I'll be freezing my ass off, it'll be worth the wait! I can't wait to meet her and have her sign my book! I"ll just have to double up my socks and use my gays to block the wind. Hags get all the perks don't they??


Franki said...

Awww, I missed you crazy-laine. And now you're prego?! I need to catch up. Have a Happy Happy Merry Merry!!

SHADOW said...

"...if Verne Troyer was around, I'd bbq his little ass and eat him with a side of rice."


You made my Christmas.

Happy Holidays to you, the munchkin, viking & lil bean!

J. said...

lucky bitch :)