Grand Opening of Club Uterus!

Wow it's been more than a month since I've posted anything. I would say that's a record but more often than not I'm ignore this blog more than I paying attention to it. So really, I'm just being consistent.

So first things first, for once, I have a very legitimate excuse for not blogging and mostly that's because more than two months ago I peed on a little stick and it told me that Club Uterus was open and ready for business. In fact, just this week, I got a little peek at our new client at Club Uterus.


That's right. I have a little bean rocking out in there waiting to make his debut on July 4th! Whoot! Whoot!

Actually the baby looks more like Mr. Peanut, just give it a top hat, a cane and an eye spectacle thingy?

Bam-o Mr. Peanut:


and lots of things are happening at Club Uterus. Since it opened, the place has been rockin' with activity so much that I've been feeling nice and queasy almost every day. Thank goodness there hasn't been any deliveries from the regurgitation station and I hope it stays that way until this thing passes. I've been tired and sluggish after about 10:00 a.m - I've attempted to write many blog posts since the day I found out but I think I ended up falling asleep and drooling on myself before I even started typing. In fact, the other day I think I slept the entire time I was washing dishes. As for the outgoing deliveries via my ass, sometimes I think I'm passing a semi truck through a doggy door and the after affects? Let's just say that it feels like I've been sodomized by a Clydesdale.

The nausea and the extreme fatigue is all new to me because when I was preggers with the munchkin, I felt sick once and I was only really tired a handful of times. Unfortunately, the constipation part I'm quite familiar with.

Yeah it gets a little graphic up here at Club Uterus but we're super excited about adding on to our team. The crazy thing is two of my best friends, with whom I've been friends with since the 2nd and 3rd grade, are pregnant too, we're within weeks of each other. So it looks like Club Uterus is a franchise.

So I hope you don't mind if this blog starts becoming my weekly log of all the happenings at the Club. The good, the bad, the gross, the cravings (I want to put Tabasco sauce on EVERYTHING right now) and the constipation.

If anything this will give me an excuse to not ignore this poor blog for so long. It thinks its gotten fat and I'm doing another blog on the side.