Friday, February 22, 2008

Everyday Horrors All Around You.....

Bindy Irwin: I feel bad feeling the way I do about Bindy. Especially when her dad died, I REALLY wanted to be happy with the fact that she was handling her dad's death so.......ecstatically. And therein lies my problem. She was practically doing a press junket after her dad's death, cart wheels on Ellen and hula hooping on Oprah. I mean shit girl, tone it down and shed a tear or two for dear ol' dad before rolling out the keg and hanging the pinata .
Sorry Steve, (RIP) but your daughter seriously needs to lay off them pixie sticks.

John McCain: All right, this has nothing to do with politics or republicans vs. democrats, I'm merely here to point out the fact that John McCain's looks like a turtle who's lost his shell. I blame it on that wrinkly head of his and how his skin looks all thin and it could rip open at any moment and reveal the alien inside. Creeeeeepy creeperson.

Hilary Clinton: On the other party token, this bitch looks like she would eat her young with a side of kittens. No wonder Bill didn't want none of that, she can probably lock her jaws.

Carrot Top: If I have to explain why Carrot Top is creepy then you're creepy.

The Hollywood/Orange County Ladies: Those who frequent the botox center on a daily basis with their orange tans, Ken Paves extensions, silicon babies and their excess skin ponytails wrapped up tight behind their ears, talkin' bout how 75 is the new 40? You know the ones....

People who talk in the third person: Unless you're kidding ...and even then it's a thin line....talking in third person during a regular ol' conversation creeps me out. When "Greg's" talking in the third person I feel the need to first, ask for permission to talk to "Greg" so that I can let "Greg" know that talking in the third person ranks right up there with wearing sunglasses indoors and popping your collar.

Jermaine Dupree: Jermaine Dupree by himself, not so creepy, but hearing Janet Jackson's new album and her PLETHORA of dirty sex songs makes me picture Jermaine Dupree in situations that no human being should be picturing. So it's not Jermaine per se, it's Janet's TMI songs that are creepy. Keep that gnome lovin' to yourself Janet, some people gotta eat around here!

Moms who dress like their daughters and party with their daughters. Two words...Linda Hogan. Classy no? Listen, I'm all about having fun with your daughters, but I firmly believe that no mom should be hittin' up the club with their daughter, wearing outfits from Forever 21 and taking buttery nipple shots together. Sorry. Call me old fashioned, but Linda needs to get some adult company, go have some wine and put some clothes back on. She was aiming for sexy but missed and hit sad instead.

I could go on and on...
Who/What creeps you out?


Jenessa said...

Do you remember lina always said that if her and bobby had a kid it would look like carrot top? haha...well than God she's not have a kid with him. I have to send you a picture of who she is having a kid with :P

Tug said...

Once again, I must bow to you & say HELL YEAH. The Bindi thing just rubbed me the wrongassed way from the START. (RIP Steve)

oh yeah, and men with camel toe.

Melly said...

Flavor Flav. Please tell me this show is a joke and nobody is ACTUALLY trying to win his love?

Jenne Lou said...

DUDE. (Can I call you dude?)



I am creeped out by Richard Simmons.

And fabio.

I am sure there are more....I'll be back....

Anonymous said...

You are the best! Love this post and yes, all of these are creepy/nasty/yucky.

Webmiztris said...

god, Bindy does creep me out too...did you see her do that rap video? gahhh!

"...I firmly believe that no mom should be hittin' up the club with their daughter, wearing outfits from Forever 21 and taking buttery nipple shots together."

lmfao! sorry, but this is me and my mom to a T (except replace Buttery Nipples with Cherry Bombs)! LOL

The Immoral Matriarch said...

I think you pretty much covered it...
Carrot Top - ugh.

Jermaine Dupri, naked and in a sutra lotus...

Yo Momma said...

jenessa: ahaha! Omg. bobby and lina's kid WOULD look like Carrot top! Sheesh, I miss bobby.

tug: omg. i have yet to see a guy with a camel toe...and now that i've said that, I'm sure I'll see a dozen tomorrow.

melly: how could i have missed flava flav. he looks like he smells of moldy towels

jenne lou: Good call..Richard Simmons is creepy and hellooo. can we invest in some longer shorts?? Gross. Fabio..I can't believe its not butter...that commercial totally upped his creep factor

Jali: I knew you'd agree!

webmiztris: WHA? bindy has a rap video? say it ain't so.
If you're mom can still rock a forever 21 outfit, I ain't hatin. haha!

immortal matriarch: oh no no no..I cannot erase that visual of jermaine dupri in a sutra lotus...I need some brain clorox stat!