Friday, February 08, 2008

Admit it, you'd do her too.

Brilliant writer and blog friend, Elizabeth, had a fun interview post on her blog and I wanted to participate because I'm an interview whore. I actually LIKE going to job interviews because I see it as an opportunity to brag about myself. Yes I know. Its horrible. In public and around people, I usually keep my ego maniac self in check (I just heard all my friends laugh at that statement) but presented with an opportunity to ramble on about myself, via this blog or mindless myspace surveys, I usually can't help myself.

So here goes....

1. Do you own an article of clothing that is either hideously out of style or so ratty that it belongs in the rag-bag, yet you can't bear to part with it?
YES I do. It is my old boyfriend's gray football shirt that he used to wear OVER his football pads I believe. It is stretched out beyond belief. He also cut the bottom part of it and apparently cutting in a straight line was not his strong suit because the shirt is as crooked as a politician. And yet still, I wear it around the house, especially in the summer. It is like slipping on silk..it's so thin and soft.

2. If you could go back in time and offer some life advice to your teenage self, what would you say?
Just say NO to credit cards when you grow up and stop fawning over your boyfriend and focus on school you slacker!!! (sadly, my momma already gave me this advice when I was a teen so I guess I would just walk behind my teen self and bully her into studying.)

3. Does your driver's license list your weight accurately?
Ummm if by accurate you mean what I weighed when I actually took the picture that's on my driver's license...then yes. hee.

4. If you could have dinner with one famous person, who would you choose?
OH come on now....please see slide show of famous person I would have dinner with on the right sidebar. Thank you.

5. How about if that dinner were to carry over into, um, breakfast... ;-)?
Okay this is going to get controversial because my pick would be Angelina Jolie.

It has nothing to do with being straight or lesbian, its just that I think Angelina Jolie is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, man or woman. Her face is stunning. And frankly, I think women can totally appreciate and even be attracted to other women without being labeled "gay" (don't get me started on my shades of gay theory...please..) because I think women are built beautifully. Women have curves, we're soft, aerodynamic even, and it looks like God just took his time when making a woman whereas men (especially their junk) looks as if God was working the graveyard shift, he was tired and just slapped them together with whatever parts he had left in the bin after making us women. Think about it, if you were an alien landing on earth and had to pick what species to impregnate with your alien seed based on aesthetics alone, you would totally pick a woman. (And Tom Cruise would click his heels and walk away in a huff.) I think an alien would look at a man's dangles and snausage and be like..
'oh no, that shit could get caught in our flux capacitor, screw that mess.'

Don't get me wrong, I love how men are built too, believe me, I would not kick this shit out of bed....


HELLOOOO. And when viking hubby wears the classic white t and jeans, I grope him like a dirty old pervert. Here's my all time favorite picture of viking hubby..decked out in a white shirt, jeans, he's dirty and holding dead catfish. That is too much hotness in one picture for me...(seriously, I'm an ill ill woman. Don't tell anyone.)




So while I appreciate both in very different ways, my pick would be Angelina Jolie because never mind the fact that she looks like she would give you a good workout (that bitch gets freaky...lookit at her)... but I think she would probably let me sleep in while SHE cooked me breakfast the next day. And really when it comes down to it...isn't that better than sex? (what is this thing called "sleeping in??" hmmm???)

Admit it ladies, this chick could totally turn you into a flannel shirt wearing, buzzed cut having, monster truck drivin, lesbot ........or maybe its just me.



EDIT: If you're an interview whore like myself and would like to be interviewed by me for your blog, please put down "Spank me" in my comments box and you shall be spanked with 5 interview questions by yours truly. :)

11 comments:

Tug said...

Nah, not Angie. I need to think about who my 'if I were into women' woman would be. hmmmmmmm...

HolyHELL girl, you had me laughing out loud again with God and nuts & shit.

Elizabeth Grace said...

Well of course I knew who you'd be having dinner with, but I wouldn't have guessed the rest.

Angelina is hot, I'll give you that, but I think she could make us mere mortals feel short, chubby, and middle aged, though. Wait, I AM short, chubby, and middle aged...

Yo Momma said...

tug: ok now i'm interested...who's your main woman pick???

elizabeth: I know you knew but people who read my blog with blinders on might not know who I'd have dinner with. It was a toss up between her and Tom really, I just want him to slap me on the ass and call me glib like he did with Matt Lauer.
oh believe me if I knew I had an opportunity with Angelina then I would crash diet and live in the gym weeks before I got to do it!

Joseph said...

I DON'T WANT YOU TO THANK ME, YOU CAN JUST SPANK ME!!!! ....Though I hast no blog, darling.

jali said...

I'm just here for the spanking. (Do you love the movie "Ever After"?) That's my paraphrase of the day.

SHADOW said...

Spank me hard. I like it.

Caroline said...

Hot damn, girl!!! I been dying for you to spank me since, like, forever! I await your expert paddling - um, questioning.

Tug said...

I'm still not sure, but I'm really leaning towards "are you as innocent as you appear? can I bring something out of you? are you hiding anything?"

Reese Witherspoon? Who else is a closet 'sweetie' that could have something brought out by the right person??

Question back to Yo Momma......

Yo Momma said...

oooh good question tug! Closet sweetie that could be brought out for me would be Natalie Portman. I think lil miss Harvard isn't quite as straight laced as she seems.

Tug said...

GOOD one! I hear rumors that the smell of the mary-ju-wanna follows her wherever she goes...she may be a little too laid back (pun intended) maybe?

Ya' just never know...

Madonna said...

1. I've worn my poor Sherrie Austin T-Shirts to death, but have no intention to get rid of them.

2. After the last few weeks, I'd have to say "Run away from your family - and don't go back!" Ask me again later.

3. Almost. But not as inaccurate as it was two years ago.

4. Esther Madge Veronica Louise Ciccone Ritchie

5. If you mean whom would I choose to have dinner with if it could carry over into breakfast? Esther Madge Veronica Louise Ciccone Ritchie - wearing thigh-high boots.

:P