Monday, May 21, 2007

I Feel So Dirty.....

There are rare pockets in time where I am rendered completely and totally speechless.

After seeing the video below, I've hit one of those pockets. Please watch it and we'll have a short discussion after the show. Enjoy.

okay so...wha?...

I don't kn....

what the fu???

Well, my first question would have to be why oh why are they gang banging an ottoman?
I don't think it wanted any of their action and yet there they were.. one after another, seemingly appearing out of nowhere, introducing themselves then taking their turn to defile and degrade the innocent little ottoman.

Ottoman: Don't you guys KNOW what an ottoman is?!? I'm here for your COMFORT not for your PLEASURE! Please....
stop....oh god there's more...
no...oh ...oh...egads this one smells of gym socks!!!....
someone help me! WHEN WILL IT END???
Wall: Shut up and take it Ottoman! Say you want more! Holy shit, they're headed our way!!!!

What next??! A coffee table snuff film?

And can you imagine the little production meeting on this one?

Humpty doo dah: Okay's my idea. Let's make a tape of us being super sexy!
DJ Dry Humps: Yeah! Yeah! and and you know what would make it really sexy and manly..we should all be sexy together!
NoPubes Pimp: Oh hells ya! I think we would really turn up the sexy if we show the ladies our bedroom moves right after P.E...that way we be all musky and sweaty and shit...
Squirrel Nuts: So where should we do it? OH SNap! I said "do it". hahahahaha!!
(laughter and high fives while passing around the Cool Ranch Cornnuts)
DJ Dry Humps: I'll put on some really sexy tunes and we can just...well videotape our moves...together!
Humpty Doo Dah: Oh yeah! We are going to BLOW up on Youtube. We're gonna get all the ladies...and their mommas too!
DJ Dry Humps: Now, just to make sure, we're all doing this together right? In one room?
Squirrel Nuts:
Let's do it tomorrow!
NoPubes Pimp: At my house!
DJ Dry Humps: Together!..yeah! Then..then..we'll all take showers at my house together afterwards k?
(awkward silence)
DJ Dry Humps: Well... I mean,..not ALL together in the shower...maybe two at a time...but it would save on the water bill if we all did it together .....I mean there is a drought......and we kind of all have to do our part to conserve...and stuff.

So readers? Thoughts? Comments? What the hell is this video about and who/what were they making it for?

Whatever the case may be, I have to go take a hot scalding shower now....


Anonymous said...

Well, first looks like they all learned their humping moves from the same horrible porn. I've seen better moves on my vibrator.

And WHAT...are they, like 16 or something? This was WAY to unbelieveable retarded.

I needed this.

Thanks, mama.

I'll be around.

Laurie/Elle/The Pirate

Anonymous said...

*unbelievably....apparently, I suck.


Anonymous said...

**way TOO...way TOO....FUCK!

Sorry, Elaine.

It seems lack of blogging has fucked up my fingers.


Miss-Informed said...

Did you notice how certain ones headed for the mirror to watch their own scandalous moves? That was CRAZY! I especially enjoyed when the one guy started to rub up on HIMSELF!!! You just can't buy stuff like this...PRICELESS!

Webmiztris said...

how did you find that little gem?! that was seriously amusing..... those boys need to get laid STAT!!

Kristi said...

MINE EYES. thing on youtube ever. Ever.

Madonna said...

Speechless is right. And not a good speechless, either.

Someone finally found something that is worse than Cartman with authoritah!

Weekends Off said...

That song is now dead to me. I won't be able to get over the image of the poor abused ottoman...

Found your link through another blog, hope you don't mind me chiming in!

jali said...

All videos now blocked here at work. I want to know (whining like a biyatch)...

Elaine said...

elle: hey girl! thanks for stopping by! You'll be back in the saddle in no time! Glad I could provide some disturbing video to cheer you up! LOL!

missinformed: and how at one point one would roll off the ottoman in a very ungraceful way as another took his turn. It is such a mess, I couldn't turn away.

webmiztris: someone posted it as a bulletin on myspace and I just had to repost. I know a priceless gem when I see one!

kristi: scheriously. They should get some kind of best dry humping on youtube award.

Madonna: I love you. Leave Mr. Ritchie and run away with me.

weekendsoff: I will always welcome complete strangers who want to be my blog bitch. :D

jali: girl go yell at the office IT guy and tell them you must see this video. Its a matter of life and death...for them!
It's a bunch of teenage boys dry humping the ottoman, the air, the wall, etc to really bad r&b music. A must see.

Madonna said...

Elaine, you do tempt me so! ;)

Ice said...

LOL... omg, funny!

Nice find, pervert ;)


Ice said...

LOL... omg, funny!

Nice find, pervert ;)


Anonymous said...

i almost peed myself laughing at this one. then i showed it to husband, who made me accidentally fart and then poop myself (just a little) as he did his imitation of them. he's a huge, barrel chested viking of a guy with no ass, and i had to take a hit off my asthma inhaler and beg for mercy. i can't look at it anymore. forever i'll have flashbacks of it all. and no i won't film my husband and post him up on youtube, although it would be pretty funny if people started posting parodies of that video.