Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Midget Pictorial Extravaganza continued....

On with the show!

Forgot to add this picture to the last post. This was at a hotel room during one of the many stops we made on our big move from Kansas to California. 2 adults and 4 kids all packed up into a old Buick pullin' a U-Haul. Not fun. Especially when the brothers farted into a Pringles can and then gave it to their poor unsuspecting sister who thought that her brothers were finally being nice to her and sharing the chips. No such luck.

Standing in line for the Death By Rollercoaster ride at magic mountain. We weren’t this chipper afterwards. and yes, I had to ride Judy's shoulders to make the height requirement for this ride. Oh and let's all marvel at the fashionable fanny pack my friend Elisa is stylin. (I have to do something to distract you from my overalls..)

Having some bathroom fun…at a baby shower…..very appropriate. Judy took the picture, so she’s really the one who’s twisted.

Sweeping a hot dude off his feet. He was a tad bit on the hairy side so, sadly, it did not work out. Hairballs and such. You know how it is.

Hot pink bike shorts. I still cannot figure out why I wasn’t a head turner in high school. See the look of pity and amusement on that guy’s face? I was just too much hotness to handle.

Sadie Hawkins (ahem, I ASKED him) + Sophomore year + my first “official” date =
SAD. OH and the jeans I'm wearing looks like I have a saggy penis.

First official date could not get enough of me though and became my first official boyfriend. Poor bastard. Check out the hooters, the clear braces and the super gloss lipstick…that’s an irresistible combination. Try not to want me too bad in this picture okay?

Long orange hair? Check!
Velvety dress for 30 bucks? Check!
Lee Press on nails? Check!
Boobs that grew in over the summer officially marking the end of Elaine The Butch Stage?? DOUBLE CHECK! (thank you mother nature for what I lacketh in height I maketh up forith in boobage.)

That dress? Totally see through in the hot summer sun.
Me? Not amused.
That guy? good kisser. small peen. (don't ask...)

Uh oh. The end is near after three years.
He’s thinking: “I wonder what happened to the sweet girl I met three years ago?
Me: “Can you put the damn dinner roll down for ONE second so we can take a decent picture!!? Damn!
(seriously, that’s what I was saying in this picture…. Sorry Eric. I was such a bitch)

OH yes! More Halloween fun with my best friend Judy! Judy was totally eighties and I was totally Lorena Bobbitt. (ziplock bag contains play-doh penis with a plastic butter knife wedged into it and fake blood.) I was a hit with the men at parties.

Judy and me partying it up in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Please don’t be jealous of my penis hat balloon.

And then there was college which can pretty much be summed up by this one picture:


jali said...

Your life was just waaay too cool.

Tug said...

I want a penis hat balloon......dammit.

So have you ever paid your brothers back?

Miss-Informed said...

Look at you all beautimus in your formal gown. I had those fun packed family vacations as well! One time we drove cross country (with pets!! We were moving) and I drove my parents and sister nuts.
Ah, to be a kid again...
Great pics!

Webmiztris said...

holy hell, that farting in a Pringles can thing had me rolling!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Well aren't you the cutest little thing.

Now I have a face to put with all the rant and wit.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

HA! I was also at Senor Frog's in 2000. That place was so white trash. I loved it.

Kristi said...

The sad thing is that I'm looking at these pictures and realizing you were WAY COOLER than me. My great big glasses and pleated pants kept the boys away until I got to college. But I guess they kept the VD away, yay me.

And I'm loving the crushed velvet dress...I just don't understand why your caressing your upper thigh. Maybe that's how you roll in Cali.