I love love Three's Company. In my evertobe humble opinion, I think its the best sitcom ever made. I will always be emotionally attached to Three's Company because it actually helped me with my English when I first came here AND I watched it regularly when I was in elementary school. Every time I watch an episode, it just takes me back to those good ol' days when I lived across the street from my best friend Judy and we would ride our bikes all day, make mud pies and make this one kid suck on a rock . (We told him it was rock candy...we were some fucked up kids. But you would think the retard would figure it out after the rock tasted like dirt. But oh no.. he kept sucking away at it until I told him to quit being an idiot and spit it out. See? I was a nice kid. Eventually.)
Anyways, there was a Three's Company marathon this past weekend and here's a few sad things I wanted to confess....
*I cried at the final episode. AGAIN. Not like .."oh how sad, but I've seen this before..sniffle sniffle" cry. It was more like "..I....(hiccup snot)....just..can't..(snot wipe)..believe..its..over."
Yeah. I'm pathetic.
*My favorite blonde roommate was Terry.
* My least favorite blonde roommate was Cindy. Her clumsiness wasn't so much as funny as it was annoying.
*My least favorite character was Lana. (I wish Jack would have just tagged that saggy bag and sent her on her way.)
*My favorite episode was called "A Night To Remember" when Jack chaperones Janet to a blind date, gets drunk, break's her grandma's vase (an heirloom) and falls asleep on Janet's bed. The next day Janet is pissed about the vase but Jack, who can't remember shit, thinks Janet is pissed because he took advantage of her. Yes, a misunderstanding on Three's Company. Surprising I know.
*My friend Jenessa had a crush on John Ritter. (R.I.P. man....sniff)
*A uber religious girl and her mother that lived in my neighborhood thought Three's Company was the work of the devil. They also told us that they cut up He-Man erasers and saw a black ominous smoke emerge from them. The black smoke tried to attack them but apparently the black smoke sniffed out their holiness, got disgusted and left.
*My reaction to that story..???
"Uhhhhhhhhh. Okay. I'm gonna go watch Three's Company now..."
*I'm still mad at Suzanne Somers for being such a money grubbin' biatch that they had to ax her from the show.
*I secretly wish that Joyce Dewitt would kick Suzanne Somer's ass (with lots of hairpulling), steal all her informercial deals (Joyce would rock a thigh master better than that hag) and make a comeback.
*I never understood why they made Janet out to be the "homely" one. I thought she was prettier than any blonde they ever brought into the apartment.
* My favorite Janet hair was the short, choppy cut and of course, her afro:
* Even Madonna is a fan of the Janet look. See?
* I love episodes where they all "struggle" to make the rent. ($300 dollars a month...IN SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA...by the BEACH.) I don't think you can rent a cardboard box from a bum in Santa Monica for $300.00.
* I also get a kick on how living with a guy was such a taboo that Jack had to pretend he was gay.
* I never totally got the sexual innuendos of Three's Company until I was well into high school. When I was young, I thought it was just funny when Jack tripped over stuff, got hit in the head or dressed like a woman.
* When Chrissy jumps around with no bra on, I can't help but cringe. (I have a boobie obsession for those of you who don't know..you will NEVER catch me without a bra on, except in bed, and even then, I cradle my the girls. No hacky sack boobies for me. Thanks.)
* I always thought that when I get old, I would be a lot like Mrs. Roper (or that little smart ass old lady from Golden Girls.)
* Blanche from Golden Girls wasn't believable because if she was really that promiscious, she would have died at a much younger age from an STD. Well..then again, she could have been the first Paris Hilton. Building up an immunity and actually recharging the STD, creating newer, more potent STDs to spread. This has nothing to do with Three's Company but I thought I should just throw that theory out there.
* I love The Ropers but I think Mr. Furley was my favorite landlord by a smidge. How can you not love a Barney Fife in pimped out gear??? (flower shirts, silk hankies, patterned belts...). He was such a Lady Killer.
* I had a crush on one of Chrissy's boyfriend's named Elmo. He only made a few appearances, but I thought he was hot. He's the guy with no shirt on. Surprise surprise.
* I tried to watch the spin off shows (The Ropers and Three's A Crowd) but they both kind of sucked. Especially Three's A Crowd...it was a lot like Joey..the spin off from Friends. I just couldn't get on board with the other friends not being there..and Jack seemed incomplete without Janet.
* If I could have it my way, Jack and Janet would have ended up together at the end and there would have been no spin off show. A better Friends spin off would have been "The Bings." Again, that has nothing to do with Three's Company, but I think that show would have been a HIT.
* I've been holding off on buying the Three's Company DVDs because I think if I do, I would be completely useless to society and make a permanent midget ass mark on my couch.
* To this day, I still mess up the last part of the Three's Company song.
(You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you......
Down at our rendez-vous,
Three's company, too!!!!!!)
and the only reason I don't mess that up now is because I looked up the lyrics on the internet. Before that discovery, the last line would always be reduced to
.."you'll see that life is a tonic and laughter is calling ..hmmm hmmmm. Down at our huddahummmm... Three's Company too!"
Well..now that I got that song in your head, let's make sure its in your head all day.
"Come and knock on our door.....
We've been waiting for you......
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his,
Three's company too.
Come and dance on on our floor......
Take a step that is new.....
We've a loveable space that needs your face,
Three's company too.
You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you......
Down at our rendez-vous,
Three's company, too!!!!!!"
Thank me later.