Oh the weather outside is frightful..but the Fan Letter Fridays are SO delightful!!

Dear Britney,

What can I say that hasn’t already been said my dear? One minute, you kicked FedEx to the curb, licked the barbeque sauce off your fingers and combed your hair, teasing us into thinking that “old Britney” was making a comeback! Sadly, in one grand swoop of your magic pork rind wand, you’re back to your ol’ no shoes wearin’, nose pickin’, Pall mall smoking, Pabst Blue Ribbon drinking, my weave is made out of hay and only cost me 50 bucks at the Wal-mart salon havin’, trailer trash antics…but the only difference is, there’s NO KFed to blame! You can’t even blame Paris because she was the one who had to shut the cheese gates that is your thighs so the earth would not fall into your gaping hot pocket (the roast beef and onions kind) when you decided to party sans panties. When Paris is the “classy” and “demure” one standing next to you, you should know that you’ve reached a whole other realm of trashy that only Pam Anderson and Courtney Love have bought property in.

Please.

Somebody save the children.

Love, me


Dear Mariah,

I just……
You know……
I think maybe……
uh…….

Shit girl,you have rendered me speechless. I don’t even know what to say.
Happy Holidays?
Thanks for covering up? (even though you still missed the body part that needed the most covering up, although I suspect it already has an adequate amount of “layers” of blubber..as it looks very “insulated.” )

Keep on eatin on…

EDIT: I guess this is an old picture of Mooriah...yet still...the wrongness of this outfit is timeless.

Love, Me.



Dear Michael,

Unlike some blond person who smells of Frito Pie, I actually love your comeback. Brilliance on hooking up with Jermaine Dupree, I mean I always knew you were gay but who knew music producer gnomes could be homosexuals too? Anyways, I just wanted to write you a letter and tell you to keep up the good work. They’re photoshopping the hell out of you in these pictures and in some pictures, you’re a dead ringer for THIS GUY right here, but regardless, I’m lovin the skimpy outfits and high heels. Just make sure you tuck it in tight Michael, you don’t want your King of Pop Jewels to be spilling out of your leotard,....
oh....
wait.....
that’s your new nose now isn’t it?

Those plastic surgeon guys are so CRAFTY!

Love, Me.


Dear Angelina,

How about your feet? Can I lick those? A toe maybe?

No?

Okay, just givin' it one more shot. I know it says 50 feet on the restraining order, but who really takes those "legal documents" seriously anyways?

Call me.

Love, Me.






HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! or HAPPY CHRISMAKWANZAHANNUKAH!!!
(did I miss anything or anybody?)