Thursday, July 20, 2006

The Book Of Elainopedia

Animals from the Forests Of Hollywierd

Figure 1: BatshitCruisaphile
(likesalotofcocknballsian)
Predator. Is known to spontanously jump on other creatures' nests, bite, and scratch. For needs of procreation, will mate with appropriate creatures, but prefers to be in groups of other cocknballsians.

Figure 2: Holmesmouse
(helpmeImahostageus)
Prey. A meek creature. Almost extinct.



Figure 1:Reynoldsaurus
(Closetus Cocknballsian)
Prey. Reynoldsauruses attaches itself to Starapatumus' back in order to obtain lifestyle giving nourishment. The Reynoldsaurus also prefers to be in groups of other cocknballsians.

Figure 2:Staropatumus
(Loudmouthus Bitchcuntapian)
Predator. Much like the cow, grazes 24 hours a day on fried chicken trees, krispy kreme plants, cheeseburger grass, and rolls around in its own feces and gravy. Mating call can be heard for miles; however the call is often unanswered.




Figure 1: MariahCareyphant
(Fakusfatus Chubbyian)
Amoeba. Excessive, high pitch screeching. Exhibits unexplainable mating poses, erratic behaviour and regurgitates food under high levels of stress. In the comfort of its own environment, will eat foods with high lard content and screech at smaller creatures in order to get them to forage for food, shelter, and clothing for her. Much like the Reynoldsuarus, this creature is also known to attach itself to creatures who can provide necessary lifestyle nourishment.




Figure 1: Seacrest Fly
(Totallyhomo Iamabottom cocknballsian)
Prey. Its extreme need to gather with other cocknballsian creatures interferes with its mating season; therefore the Seacrestfly is almost instinct. A subservient cocknballsian, will usually want to attach itself to predatory cocknballsians for companionship and lifestyle nourishment. Also has chameleon like qualities, posing as a predatory mansmansian in order to lure closet cocknballsian into its home.

Edit: Apologies for the pictures and text being all over the place. The perfectionist in me is ready to murder blogger. Seriously blogger. Kiss my midget ass!
bloggerbitchmutherfuckinasswipescanteverloadanyfuckingthingwithoutsomehowlockinguponmesunuvabitch*@*#*$*@

Edit: I dun FIXED DAT BITCH...(thanks for the advice L via DD)

5 comments:

Laurie said...

Hey sweetness. I learned a new trick today! Upload your pictures to photobucket and cut and paste the URL and insert that code into the HTML part of a blog post thingy. IT WORKS!

I hate saying this...truly, I do. But thank you Dark Damian for your words of wisdom. Amen.

karaoke queen said...

He he. Well, I think it looks BEEEUUTIFUL Elaine. Thanks for the daily dose of laughs.

Judy said...

I'm speechless...Your Book of Elainopedia is as great as Fan Letter Friday. I don't remember learning about these species in my college course "World of Animals" I'm pretty sure my neighbor (COG) is a "Seacrest Fly". Maybe next time you can show us a Predatory Mansmanian.

Miss-Informed said...

FANTASTIC! Anything you type turns to gold!

Elaine said...

laurie: thanx girl! I hate all that html poop but it does work. Who knew DD knew stuff??

karaoke queen: thanks girl! Glad you likee!

judy: see? I need to be a teacher or something, I cant believe you didnt learn all this important stuff

missinformed: I wish it would turn into gold I could cash in, then I would blog all the live long day. Thanks for stopping by girlie!