Thursday, May 11, 2006

TAG DAT ASS!

I LOVE when I get blog-tagged. Especially when I have nothing to write about and this happens to be one of those days. I bent over and requested to be tagged by the all mighty Laurie. And since I basically do whatever Laurie and CP says (they're secret midget pimps), I have no other choice but to do it.

Basically Laurie assigns me a letter and you have to put down the first ten words that come to mind and what that word means to you. Laurie gave me an "M' for OBVIOUS reasons, so on with the show...

Mug: from which I drink the hot sweet nectar that is coffee every morning.

Mashed Potatoes: make a sculpture, have a bite, or drown it in gravy. Either way, its the perfect carb-filled delight.

Maxim: I'm totally convinced that the publisher of this magazine has A.D.D. Open up a copy, you'll get whiplash reading the billion tiny articles they jam pack into one page. But that's what I get for "reading the articles" huh?

Mensies: A cute word for a disgusting monthly friend.

Million: dollars. Ya got any? This "working for a living and being a grown-up" is highly overrated.

Madelaine: who's behind me "combing" my hair. Thanks girl, even though Mommy told you never to climb on her office chair ...I'll let it go this time..because I think you're catching on that Mommy doesn't know what the hell she's talking about.

Marshmallows: are fun when stuff them in front of your mouth and pretend to be a boxer. Wait? what? who does that?

Moley: moley moley moley!!!!

Mariah: You know that bitch's real name is Maria Vasquez Gonzalez and she's from West Covina or some shit like that. Mari-AH my ass.

MADONNA: 12 more days my love. TWELVE. MORE. DAYS.

Phew! That was good. I need a cigarette .....or something close to it that smells suspiciously sweet.

************************************************************************************
other random thoughts for a Friday morn....

* If Jade from America's Next Top Model wins the competition, I will personally hand deliver a can of whoop ass to Tyra Banks that will be so devastating that the vibration of my midget fist connecting onto her knee caps will be felt round' the world. VIVA NAIMA!

* Attention all guys (or girls from France). Look under your arm. Does it look like POWs can hide in there? Does it look like you have Buckwheat in a headlock? Then DO NOT WEAR a tank top. I think I've address this issue before but with summer coming up, I feel the need to address it again since nothing is more bile inducing than a sweaty fucker, neck deep in armpit hair wearing a tank top. The same goes for hairy feet and flip flops. Sonuvabi......RAZORS. SHAVE. DO IT. or wear some SHOES. I don't care how hot you are, when you come into my line of sight please note that at that point, it's all about ME. Thank you. This has a been a public service announcement.

* Can people please oh please stop bitching about the Da Vinci Code? Oh look! look! It's under FICTION! As in "made up," from "ones imagination," falling under the category of Unicorns and K-Fed's successful rap career. Why don't we call attention to the REAL controversy? Tom Hanks' hair. Whoa. Seriously, who knew a little hair on that guy would officially make him mayor of Fuglyville?


*.. and finally, Coffee makes me poop, so I gotta go lest I have an unfortunate accident.

Have a great weekend everybody and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
(Dads/Kids, let mom sleep in and upon waking up, have some coffee, a fattening breakfast and a foot massage awaitin'. )

7 comments:

Riss said...

Hey, e-mail me your telephone number. We need to have an America's Top Model discussion, pronto.

Laurie said...

So sayeth me,

You must now send me some brownie bites and a 2 liter of Jolt...

because I'm almighty AND a midget pimp.

Midge better have my money.

Yo.

Leilouta said...

I really enjoy reading you. You're always so funny.
* I think we watch the same TV shows. Tyra Banks gets on my nerves by the way.
* I agree, girls from France should shave or better wax their armpits. That is disgusting!
* Da Vinci Code, the movie is forbidden in Arab countries. Wow! what a surprise!
* " .. and finally, Coffee makes me have to go to the bathroom, so I gotta go lest I have an unfortunate accident."
No comment :)

J. said...

Moley moley moley
Bahaaaa!
(gave me a nasty Shawty visual though .. hey, I wonder if that chick knows she's famous now?)

Julie Jewels said...

Elaine...I love you.

Shannon Bieger said...

LOL seriously....Tom Hanks hair. What exactly happened there.

And yes, why do people get all worked up over the DC? Why are some people thinking it's truth? I'm so embarrassed for them...

And finally, EW to Jade. Anyone who talks in third person needs to be bitch slapped. I wanted Sara to win but I guess she just wasn't happenin.

popfizz said...

i think its badger badger badger.. not moley moley moley..

dig?