Sunday, February 19, 2006

Boo Effin Hoo!

Yesterday, I was watching the movie "Just Like Heaven" with Reese Witherspoon and as it came to an end, my throat was choked up and my tears were precariously hanging on to my eyelashes. If it was sad, it would have been one thing, but it was a "happy, how how sweet" tears that I was daring to shed! What the?!?!!?
I honestly don't know what's happened to me. Prior to having a child, I really wasn't that emotional, even for a girl. I didn't really cry at anything but weddings.. and I felt like a jackass even doing that. Having three older brothers meant that crying was.... well.. for girls. I wanted to be like my brothers when I was small, meaning I liked to cross dress way before it was even popular and crying was simply not an option. In fact, nobody in my family, including my mom, were very emotional in a "boo hoo" kind of way. (but emotional as in "I'm going to kick your ass, I need anger management classes" kind of way, yeah, we had THAT in the family, - HI DWIN! HI MOM!)
When I was a teenager, my emotions got the best of me from time to time despite my attempts at holding back the wrath of teen hormones. I remember my mom or my dad looking at me like I had grown a third eye during these crying fits. Anything triggered it. From talk of what I wanted for breakfast to my dad asking me to put some oil in my car. During these "episodes," they would ask me, "Why are you crying??" Not in a sympathetic way either, it was mixed with impatience, morbid curiosity and digust. A lot like when you find out your parents actually have sex. (EW, not they don't! ...immaculate conception, immaculate conception....) But I gave them a break. They are boy-friendly parents, when a girl was thrown into the mix, they didn't quite know what to do with me, especially when I turned into a teenager. The boys got acne- The End. I skipped the acne and instead, I cried over nothing, had an addiction to the phone, had a crushes on different boys every week, I needed a bra, I had my period, etc. etc. I'm sure if it was up to my parents, they would have preferred that I got the acne instead. But after teenage angst passed, I was back to my normal, butchy tearless self.
BUT NOW, I cry at everything! I'm not even exagerrating when I say EVERYTHING. Damn that Oprah, damn those sad breast cancer walk marathon commercials, damn that Sally Struthers and those poor starving kids, damn that animal police show, damn every chick flick movie ever made!!! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! My tear ducts have opened and they won't stop leaking!!! I am now the prime target for people who are looking for "sponsors." Not that I'm against sponsoring, in fact, I sponsor a woman in Nigeria, But in this emotional state that I'm in, I'm bound to sponsor everything and everyone, until WE NEED a sponsor! Brad had to do some "tough love" on me the other day. He turned the channel on the t.v. because I was mid-dial to sponsoring a dog at the ASPCA. He did allow me make a small donation to ease my guilt for not saving every abandoned dog in America.
I'm secretly okay with being a crybaby, because its still a normal kind of crying.. more sympathetic and not like blubbering over things "that hurt my feelings" type of crap. And really, I was accepting my newfound tearfest as a good thing. BUT THEN I realized I truly had a problem when I kind of teared up during the last episode of "Beauty and The Geek." (YES, I WATCH the show. Spank it.) I'm sucking in every "don't judge a book by its cover" lesson that Ashton Kutcher is shoving down your throat but the toppers of all toppers is that one of the beauties actually fell for a geek (after his makeover of course.. which revealed that he was quite the hottie underneath his pocket protector). This week, one of them got eliminated so the lovebirds had to say goodbye to one another. Guess who was choking back the tears?

Someone help me.


Shannon Bieger said...

Oh man, I missed the episode so I don't who got booted! Damn! I can't believe I missed it!

I hear ya....I'm a crybaby now too. I didn't cry at Just Like Heaven but I DID cry at the end of the Beauty and the Geek episode when Karl and Danielle were booted and he lied and said "Don't ever forget how smart you are." Awww, he was so sweet and sincere about it.

Debi said...

We really needed to switch moms. My mom would not leave me alone when I was upset, and all I wanted to do was sulk ALONE. When I got my period for the first time, oh yeah, she broke out the card that she had been saving for like 5 years, and bought me a rose!!! Did you think that only happened on after shool specials? Nay nay, my mom WAS the after school special. If you had grown up in my house, you would have embraced your tears a long time ago. Side note: anyone who has yet to find their emotions... you need to watch "I am Sam" If you don't cry during that movie you are DEAD inside!!!

Judy said...

Nothing to be ashamed of, my darling...I cried watching a Soprano's episode. I was touched by Tony and Meadow's father/daughter relationship. And also when Ralph, a captain, beat a ho to death. It was sad.
As for animal movies or shows, I won't even go there. They make me bawl the most. March of the Penguins made me cry!

Kim said...

I cry at everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. Even weddings of people I don't know on a Wedding Story on TLC. I can't imagine it getting worse after having a kid. Scary thought.

Laura M said...

You're not alone. I cried like a baby while watching "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and "Grey's Anatomy" the other day.

Elaine said...

Man! You guys are a bunch of sappy crybaby GIRLS!!!!

I feel so welcomed. :D

Laurie said...

I cry at Kleenex commercials....give it up. I am the sappiest bitch I know!

I'm lovin' the blog!

Email me. I can hook you up with someone if you ever think of jazzing it up!


Laurie said...

Uh...sorry...I've had two beers. I guess it would help if I leave my damn email addy:

LaurieLamb1 at aol dot com