Raisins are Grape Corpses and other troofs...

* Raisins ARE dead grapes. Its basically a grape with all its life dried out of it, yes? Enjoy your box of grape corpses and the grape elderly (the raisins with a little bit of plump leftover from their former life). I'll pass. (really I just don't like raisins... but that's the reason I like to give to people who question my judgement)

* Michelle Kwan's nose is NOT of Asian descent. I'm pretty sure she borrowed it from Walter Matthau.



* Batman is NOT a super hero. Superheroes, by and by, posess powers that others (humans) don't. Batman has no super powers. To avenge his parent's death, he donned a batsuit, made a belt full of nifty crimefighting stuff and enlisted the help of a 16 year old sidekick, whom he dressed in rainbow colors. He's not a superhero. At best, he's a extremely agile mental case with "Brokeback" tendencies, in dire need of therapy.

* Vegetable feel pain! This was a eyeopening fact, brought up on Debi's blog:

"1) To Vegetarians, Vegans, Uber-vegans, microbioals, and raw eaters...
If scientists eventually prove that plants can feel pain in a different but just as significant way as animals, what will you eat? p.s. They are getting really close to proving exactly that."

I was so happy to hear about this study and I personally can't WAIT for this to happen. I would love to throw some cabbage trimmings on them and make signs like: "PLANT KILLER!" and "SALAD IS MURDER!". I reserve this to the most extreme of vegans of course, who push the vegan way of life as I try to eat my double bacon cheeseburger in peace. I have nothing against regular ol' vegetarians who just like to eat veggies.. eat up! and while you're at it, you want my broccoli? (ew).

* My right thumb bends wierd. Check it out:

What is up with that? My left thumb is extremely embarrassed and refuses to hang out with my right thumb. Can you blame it? (I know I'm convincing you people more and more than I'm a midget circus freak... oh and I KNOW you are loving the short nails and no polish look. I call it "lesbo-chic".)

* Midget circus freaks are cooler than you.

* Carrot Top is a scary woman and his date, Steven Segall is a douchebag.


* Women's farts stink. Men's farts smell more like a city sewage pipe has leaked into your house. Or someone took a fat dump in the middle of your living room.. either way, guys SCHMELL.

* Power Bars taste like wood shavings, glue and ground up aspirin. I'm eating it right now as a substitute for chocolate. Which is a lot like using a cow pie as a substitute for a pillow.

* Everyone in England looks like Mr. Bean.

* Everyone in France can suck it. (I'm specifically talking TO YOU Miss French Bitch with a foot long French bread up your ass. The conch who decided that sighing and rolling her eyes while I try to order my quiche (IN FRENCH) was proper customer service for Americans. Don't be hatin' on me because you're country is full of manginas, ready to bend over to whoever the dominant country happens to be! Just get me my quiche' biznatch and try not to get your armpit hair in it)

* The more errands I have to do, the more I feel the urge to blog.

* Anything in San Diego ending in "-berto's" means they have some damn good carne asada burritos that be talkin' to your other end about 2 hours later. (right Kim?) It's alright though. Metamucil has nuttin' on these burritos. Keeps a girl regular! OLE!

* It takes an average of 413 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. No joke. Some "scientist" (ie: guy in his 30s who still lives with his mom and has decorative samurai swords displayed in his apartment/basement) conducted this study.

* .. AND finally, I like to shamelessly promote myself:

Buy a T-shirt from me ( more designs coming soon) or skip the formalities and just send me some good ol' cash. I promise that all proceeds will go to a charitable cause. (me).