Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The Christmas Hangover

The Christmas Tornado has come and gone, it was great, exhausting, exhilirating and I don't know where all my money went but I had a blast. I just can't be a humbug on Christmas. No matter how much people piss and moan about the traffic, the malls, the "commercialization" of Christmas, yawn, yak yak, blah blah, santa's not real (I beg to differ!) etc. You cannot bring me down from my Christmasy mood, especially with Maddy around. She got excited about everything! The lights we put up, our little bitty tree, the dancing Santa grandma gave her. You would have to be a complete robot to remain in a "hum-buggy"mood after that! If you're in a hum-buggy mood right now, let's take a Maddy break shall we......

... and if you're still in a mood, go take some uppers, because if a little girl in crooked pigtails and a Santa dress doesn't brighten you up a bit, you're in serious need of medication.

So what comes next? The New Year of course and with the new year? Resolutions are a must! Oh SURE.... brush them off as a waste of time but you know you want to make them and you have a secret list in your head. Admit it. Personally, I like making resolutions and really, there's nothing like pressuring yourself in the beginning of the New Year! So to put even more added pressure on myself, I will post it online for the world to see, so around this time next year, you can all gather 'round to riducule, point the fingers at me and say"LOSER!!!.. you didn't do any of the shit you said!"

Here we go...

Of course, resolution number one. Weight. Surprised? Probably not. And for you cynics.. I DID lose my baby weight this past year so there! I fulfilled last year's resolution! I even got down to 117 at one point (thanks Brandie for the Cabo Trip and added pressure to stand next to you in a bikini). But of course, I gained a couple back after the trip.. (Brandie, you need to stand next to me more often) SO resolution number one.. this is a biggie...

1. I resolve to have a better body at 30 than I did at 26 (my prime).
- sidenote resolution: not to cringe everytime I say the word "thirty" in conjuction with my age.-)
Yes, yes, I know. I shouldn't be so concerned with weight. You should love yourself for who you are, it's what's inside that counts, you gotta have more junk in your trunk, more cushion for the pushin', big girls need love too..... oh wait.. I just went way off track didn't I?.... but I honestly do like the way I look sans 10 pounds or so. I want to be able to shop for clothes based on how it looks and not based on if a backfat roll is showing. (And I want to wear a MILF shirt. If that's wrong, then really..I don't want to be right.)

2. I resolve to get a mani/pedi at least once - yeah, some resolution! But I have a wierd thing about strange people "doing things (molesting)" my hands and feet. It's not a big enough problem to use the word "phobia." I would call it a "mani/pedi anxiety disorder". I just feel "uncomfortable" sitting there while a person "works" on my nails and my..(gasp) feet. But my feet are starting to look like "Shrek's" and my hands.. well, they look like a 14 year olds hands, short stubby fingers, short nails, unpolished..... okay, upon closer inspection, they look more like a butchy lesbian's hands.. are you satisfied??

3. I resolve to re-learn my accordion and begin my million dollar idea... I know how to play the accordion but I just need a refresher. Actually, lessons were a part of my Christmas gift from Brad. The million dollar idea? "Polkadonna." (Doing Madonna covers with my accordion.. can you say CHA-CHING??)
I'll be doing birthdays, weddings and batmitzvahs... I'll be in the book, look me up for your next special event!!

4. I resolve to re-learn Tagalog...now that my parents have moved back to the Philippines, I really need to brush up on my motherland language. My relatives can't seem to grasp the fact that I totally understand Tagalog but have a hard time talking back IN Tagalog. But now that I'm writing it out.. I can see how that might be confusing. I FORGET the words people! so I begin intertwining tagalog with english and it becomes this jumbled englitagalog pie that NO ONE understands. So they just look at me, nod and smile then look at my parents and shake their heads in dismay.

Well that's all I can think of right off the top of my head. I'm sure I have more but those are the four really important ones. As for our New Year's Eve celebration.. having a child really limits the "partying" one can do. SO, Brad and I will be having our very own party countdown after the little mudbug goes to sleep. We've planned on a different appetizer to munch on every hour from 9:00 pm to 12:00 pm. We're still making up the menu. So far, we have nachos for starters, I think I might add some hot wings for hour two and I'll leave hour three to whatever Brad wants. Of course, the alcoholic beverages will be aplenty but we are going to try NOT to pass out before 12:00 pm and try NOT to have a hangover on New Years day. Poor Maddy, as she snoozes away her parents are getting bombed AND fat.

HEY, resolutions don't start til' the New Year!.... so technically we're still on my old slate, which includes broken resolutions, lots of chocolate and various fried foods.... so until the clock strikes 12:00 am, I say EAT, DRINK and PARTY like you weigh 109!!! (and if you already weigh 109, don't wait til' the new years, for god sake's stop reading and go get something to EAT! preferably fried stuff with cheese....)



Riss said...


That's all.

Oh and resolutions suck. Or more like, *I* suck at resolutions.

Shannon Bieger said...

Oooooh....you pulled out the big guns. The cutie patootie in a Christmas dress. That's wicked. No one stands a chance against those gorgeous eyes.

LOL what you need is a shirt that says SAHMILF. It's a new term I've coined. Well, not so new. It's my posting title on Relevant from like a year ago. But nonetheless, I think I'm hella clever to coin it. = D

Are you telling me you've never had a mani/pedi?? Oh my gosh, I need to take you out for a day of total girliness. That is unheard of!

Whaaaat? Your parents moved to the Phillipines? You did NOT tell me that!!!

ROFL "Fried stuff with cheese". Joey!