Judging Books By Their Covers: Part One

Since I have absolutely no time to write. I'm introducing a new blog quickie called Judging Books By Their Covers. Today's subject is Kris Humphries, whose cover says....

I'm an open mouth breather

I consider 'passing gas' and 'dutch oven-ing' people as one of my hobbies.

I say 'supposebly'

I think it's perfectly fine to turn your underwear inside out and wear it again

I scratch my nuts then smell my fingers, then I make other people smell them.

I think it's perfectly fine to scratch my back with a dinner fork

I own all the Jackass movies and think they are cinematic feats of awesomeness

Driving with my seat all the way down with one hand on the steering wheel makes me gangsta.

I still giggle when people say my last name (you said 'Hump!' hahahaha!)

If you're really my friend, you've been teabagged by me at least once.

Showering in Drakkar Noir is the same as actually showering.

I don't know how to spell Kardas ...Kardasch....Kardashyn...whatever, she has my last name now anyways.

I believe that burping is an opportunity to share your meal with others.

Eating whatever's under my fingernails is a form of recycling.

There's no fun in blowing my nose if it can't be in the form of a snot rocket.

I like big butts and I cannot lie....

Spiritually, I believe in the word of Beavis and Butthead