Tuesday, October 06, 2009

You Complete Me. A love letter to Pillsbury.

Dear Pillsbury "Funfetti" cake mix,

I will never forget that moment last week when you caught my eye. So festive, so joyful with the doughboy promising everlasting yumminess in your blue and rainbow colored box that glistened under the Target halogen lights. I was going to walk right past you for what did I need cake mix for? There was no birthday to be had, no special event in the near future to warrant a cake and I'm not much of a cooker/baker anyway. Even the simplest of baking tasks (like a cake in a box) can turn into a shriveled black coal in my cooking disabled hands. Children have weeped and ran away in fear from past baked monstrosities goodies that had the misfortune to have been created by me. There was absolutely no reason that our paths should cross.

But it did. And I was drawn like a magnet, curious as to what' funfetti' meant in the context of a cake. As I got closer, I saw that you were just a simple cake mix with some sprinkles thrown in. How could a simple thing like cake mix with sprinkles in it possibly live up to the promise of glee, celebration and happiness that your box shouted at me from across the room? It couldn't! And yet there I was, picking you up and including you with my other basket of goodies that was the reason I had visited Target in the first place. (Madonna CD/DVD of course).

Still unimpressed, I let you sit in the cupboard for three days and almost forgot about you until my sweet tooth kicked in. Let's see what that cake has to offer I thought, making you as an afterthought as I chatted away on the phone. It was at this point that I saw a recipe for Funfetti cookies on the side of the box and on a whim, I decided to do cookies instead because it only required two eggs, a 1/3 cup of oil and a steady mixing hand. Even THAT I could do and the 1 and a half steps it required to make the cookies appealed to my laziness when it comes to cooking. (oh who am I kidding, it appealed to my laziness period.)

Eight minutes later you were done. Two minutes later I experienced you.
(gotta let that bitch cool. Many a taste buds have been sacrificed due to my inability to grasp this concept in the past.)


Cake mix with sprinkles!!! So simple and yet GENIUS on my taste buds!!! How could I have ever doubted you? How could I have questioned the marketing execs at Pillsbury? If Pillsbury promises ecstasy and one million orgasms in a box then by God they deliver!! I'm a believer Pillsbury! I am a believer!

I was a fool. I'm sorry. Please accept my apologies. I hope to have more wonderful times together, even if half the time it is my husband who prepares you, just remember, it is I that loves you most.

Til' we meet again on aisle 6, sweet sweet funfetti dreams.

Your admirer, lover, and newfound addict,


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