Tuesday, August 19, 2008

So Random Its Organized.

* What in the world do they serve in the water in Brazil?? I've scouted two models in the past couple weeks that were so gorgeous to look at, it was like someone had punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me. The first model I was scheduled to meet with with at a Starbucks. I got there before she did and was chatting it up with a couple next to me. When the girl walked in, a big bang was heard throughout the coffee shop because all three of our jaws hit the floor in unison. She was soo beautiful and tall, I thought she was a wax figure. I sat her out in the sun for a couple minutes to see if the melting would begin, but no. She was real. Amazing.
Last week, I scheduled to meet a guy near downtown and Hillcrest and again, he was from Brazil! So gorgeous I could barely talk and ask him the "professional questions" an unbiased and cold model scout is suppose to ask.

" Nice to meet you ...can you...ah.....wait...let me look at my notes here....what's the first questio..oh NAME! What's your name?"

Sad. I think the entire male population of Hillcrest followed him out of that Starbucks like a bunch of groupies - along with a couple of their hags. (Hillcrest is a predominately gay community in San Diego). So mental note, if you want to feel like a troll who just crawled out of a sewage hole, go to Brazil. Apparently, pretty people are grown and harvested there.

* Random Olympic sports make me happy. The Trampoline? Sweet! (I think that might be my gold medal ticket. I would fly. The bad girl of Trampoline! It's a Nike commercial waiting to happen people...) Ping Pong? Badminton? Double SWEET! (I'm ASiAN ....no reason needed as to why I love ping pong. Genetics. Hello.), when dodge ball becomes an official Olympic sport, sign me up!

* My girl Shawn Johnson, who has missed gold by the narrowest of margins and because the Olympic judges are blind, deaf and dumb, biased to under aged Chinese gymnasts "lean and graceful" gymnasts as opposed to short powerhouses like Johnson. She FINALLY won gold on the beam where lean and graceful don't mean shit. YAY for short, muscular midgets with no boobs!! (who are 16 and over!!...CHINESE!!!)

* And of course, yay for Michael Phelps, 8 gold medals, greatest Olympian of all time, blah blah blah, he is an amazing swimmer, no doubt. But he confuses me with a body like DAMN and a face like WHOA.


Bottom Half: Gold Medals - Top Half: Unfortunate

* Word has it that there's a transexual male on the new season of America's Next Top Model. It's so nice to know that Tyra's willing to share the spotlight with a fellow tranny. Yay for Tyra. She's not self absorbed at all. Nope. Not one little bit. And don't you tell me different.

* Thank god for Project Runway - what can I say? THE most amazing reality show for me because people who can sew are like flying magicians who poop Toblerone chocolate bars. I swear, if someone hems my pants, I gasp and start chanting hail marys, making signs of the cross because the magic of sewing is almost witchcraftery in its awesomeness. Combine that with a woman who wants to work with LED-THUH (leather) and pronounces as I spelled it, a gay man who's a tanorexic and another gay man who speaks of himself in the third person and you have the makings of the best reality show on television. That and the fact that Heidi Klum leaves a wonderful puff of cinnamon and sugar dust every time she appears on television....which is way better than the grease and bacon bit trail that Tyra leaves.

* And for those of you who missed the video I posted of the weighlifter Janos Baranyai having a bad day at the Olympics. Here it is via photos....

Janos lifts it up the massive weight over his head.

Um, I don't think my elbow is suppose to go that way...

Call me crazy but this doesn't feel right....

CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!!!!
Okay, okay, screw Calgon, I'll settle for Chinese doctors... Oh Chinese Doctors please take me to a drug induced land where elbows are made of rubber and cheese. Thank you.

9 comments:

Immoral Matriarch said...

I'm sitting here with my motuh agape at those photos. OW.

Tug said...

Trampoline. And you can 'travel' doing the trampoline.

I'm still in shock, and now my elbow hurts. Thanks for that. ;-)

Melly said...

Oh my gosh I'm laughing so hard at Bottom Half: Gold Medals - Top Half: Unfortunate! THANK YOU! I was getting hell for saying similar things, I thought I was the only one! People are seeing his body and forgetting to look up a foot or two.

JJ Inc. said...

Brazilians are a mongrel race, made up of the best parts of Native South Americans and Europeans. Mutts. Mulatees.

Caroline said...

Your description of Phelps was the most accurate I've ever read. Yay!

Elizabeth Grace said...

When I first glanced at the Sports Illustrated cover on the Comcast home page, it looked like he was wearing a halter top.

Franki said...

Holy.

FU-UCK.

CarBoy Films said...

Holy crap. I'm giving up competitive weightlifting forever.

Kevin
www.carboyfilms.com

SHADOW said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T WATCH THE VIDEO!!

STUFF LIKE THAT REALLY TRIPS ME OUT!!

TRAUMATIZED FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!

AHHHHHH!!!!