Monday, September 10, 2007

AAANNDD Now It's Time To Go Home...

A Chili Dog eating contest with Mariah Carey would have been a much better "comeback" performance than this weird, half drunk, half coma, lip synced performance:

She DARED start it off with Elvis' song "Trouble." Puhlease. Even at his fattest, Elvis still rocked the house..granted the stage was covered in bacon grease afterwards...he gave it his all. Britney couldn't even be bothered to wake up.

Someone from Britney's inner circle of "yes" men/women tell her it is time to cash in, go home and just rest. You can't even make fun of it anymore because it is so tragic to have a front row seat to this shit. Downward spiral is now in full effect. After the horrible reviews she got immediately after she performed, I don't even want to think about what this girl is going to do next. Hopefully, if she hasn't completely pickled her brain in vodka and red bull, she'll just go into hiding. And ...dare I say it...I hope K-Fed gets full custody of those poor kids because ol' girl needs some serious help.

Ay Pobrecita....

On a side note....damn! I thought Timbaland was fat?

Where did he get those guns?
And I guess we know who his workout partner is....

Holy Jeebus! Do they have side jobs for the NFL now? What the?!?! MMmmm mmmm mmm. Looks like 50 Cent has got some competition! Wowza. And MAYBE they can all get together and take turns beating Kanye West's yapping vaginer!

Overall, the MTV Awards was kind of ADD this year. The performances in "different suites" and what not. It was amusing, but really nothing new.
Remember when MTV stood for "Music Television" and not "Mediocre Reality Television?"
And I'm sorry but after Lil' Mama showed up dressed as a baby:

it was ruined for me. Nothing can top that outfit.
Except maybe for this:

Sarah Silverman's imitation of Brit Brit's vajayjay.

"Amy Winehouse is Jewish right? Isn't she? Because if she's not, someone should tell her face." - Sarah Silverman.


Webmiztris said...

omg, thank you for posting that video of britney. I missed it last night and I was dying to see that trainwreck - er, I mean performance. She really did look drunk! especially at the beginning. I thought she was going to fall on her ass. it pretty bad when you can't even lip synch to your own shit anymore. good lord.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

maybe brit thought that was the walk-thru or rehearsal. Regardless, she was pretty wrecked yesterday. Now the only question is how soon will she file for bankruptcy?

jali said...

I didn't watch it when it aired since it's football season and there is nothing else on TV on for me right now but...
damn! She's a drugged up monster pig girl.

Tug said... least fat Elvis covered his shit up.

Go away Brit.

Now would be good.

Turnbaby said...

I saw it on Yahoo--sheesh--she didn't even try.

Kristi said...

When I was a dork in high school speech club, we had a category of competition called 'Record Mime.' Goofy losers lip-synced to Weird Al and stuff for entertainment and trophies.

The goofy losers would've beat Brit Brit by a landslide.

Madonna said...

Twenty three years ago, the VMA's became Must See TV thanks to the shocking and high-profiled performance of a certain hit song by a certain Queen from Michigan.

Since that famous performance of "Like A Virgin", it's been all downhill for the VMA's, which quite frankly are now about as relevant as Emily's Reasons Why Not.

If there was any doubt to how utterly useless the VMA's now are, they were erased when they decided to kick off the show with an irrelevant (and pathetic) performance by the most irrelevant artist of the last ten years: Britney "Trailer Park" Spears.

Is it any surprise Madonna had absolutely no plans of performing there this year? Why bother? Not only would hardly anyone watch (because nobody cares at this point), but even if she did perform, nobody would notice. They'd be too damned busy talking about the special needs student who time and time again is crammed down our throats as headline news in this country.

Britney Spears' fifteen minutes should've ended ten years ago. And if it wasn't for dirty old men, impressionable teenage girls, and tabloid scum like Pat O'Brien, it would've.

All I can think is that if such a shit performance was treated as such major news, Madonna better just release her album and prepare herself for the fact the bulk of her sales will be outside of America (yet again). The album could be full of songs like "Ray Of Light", "Music", "Live To Tell", "Take A Bow" and other such A+++ material, and NOBODY IS GOING TO NOTICE, because SHE'S NOT BRITNEY.

Britney, give up and go home to your double-wide already.

And, MTV, give up. You've been irrelevant since 1992.