Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Things That Keep Me From Chopping People Up and Putting Them In My Freezer

In other words, several things that keep me sane:

Coffee. The official fuel for midgets.
Nothing fancy. Just regular ol' cup of joe, 3 teaspoons of sugar, some skim milk and wala! Midget fuel. I don't even drink a ton of it. I just need ONE cup in the morning to get me started and maybe one more cup with breakfast.

The viking hubby.
True indeed that at times, he does contribute to the "insanity" part (ie: clothes sprinkled lovingly all over our bedroom ....BUT somehow, NONE of them are anywhere NEAR the hamper. He's talented like that.) but at the end of the day, its nice to be with someone who just gets me.

Sniffing my daughter at least three times.
She smells like baked cuteness.
Did you know that babies/toddlers emit a certain type of phermone that makes adults want to protect and nurture them? My daughter's phermones makes me want to squish her into a little ball and put her in my pocket.

Washing Dishes.
Some people meditate in at a monastry, in their bedrooms, while doing yoga, etc. Me? I get my zen on elbow deep in dirty dishes, Palmolive dish soap and warm water. If you listen really closely you can hear a low hum emitting from my throat as I scrub last night's tuna casserole off a dish.

My daily routine.
It's not a minute to minute exact routine, but I can probably tell you where I am, what I'm doing and why you shouldn't bug me at 9:00 am....on a year. Okay, I exaggerate, but my routine is my comfort blanket. While I like surprises (as in ..."you've won a free trip to Italy!" or "There's ice cream cake in the fridge!"...) I don't like surprises in my daily routine...(as in.."ring my doorbell and try to sell me magazines during daughter's naptime" or "wow, you've got some water damage to your roof, we're going to have to destroy your house for a week and a half and stick loud giant fans in there for another week. Hope it doesn't interfere!")

My mini weekend vacations.
Every year I take at least two weekend jaunts somewhere with friends. My parents make me feel horribly guilty whenever I take a weekend off because "I'm a mother and wife now, not a teenager." (with that parental, all-knowing voice that can make me, a 30 year old woman, revert to being a 13 year old fighting for her right to stay out past 11pm). I KNOW they mean well but my parents are an odd bunch. They spend EVERY MINUTE of EVERY WAKING HOUR together and yet somehow talk and talk to each other like they just met. While I admire and LOVE their devotion to one another, I am not built that way. I need to reboot. Get some laughs in with friends, order room service, be lazy, dance my ass off, do some karaoke and sleep in. I come back a better wife and a better mother from my little weekend jaunts. I highly recommend it to all moms.

All things Internet.
Especially blogging and reading other blogs. Blogging is like some wierd therapy session with a bunch of strangers from all over the world. I usually gravitate to blogs that are written by people who are as off kilter as I am. (see blogroll) I have found the wittiest, funniest, most brilliant people on blogs and I look forward to reading all the crazy, funny, and sometimes touching posts they write everday.......or whenever they feel like posting.

My friends.
They're all my therapists in some way. I have a core group of friends who I've known for years, three of them since elementary school. They're all beautiful, brilliant, hilarious, and a little crazy. How else could they be friends with me for this long??

Almost any kind of book. Our house is overflowing with them. The hubby and I have an attachment to all of our books and refuse to throw them out, even though we've read all of them...some of them three or more times.
Its portable, entertaining, informative, and has THE best special effects. Especially if you're overly imaginative like I am

Getting overly excited and completely obsessed about silly things:
(IE: Madonna)
Because deep down, I still really want to plaster my walls with posters from Bop Magazine, talk on the phone for hours, make friendship bracelets and watch Wonder Years.

What keeps you sane?


Lizzle said...

Umm, can I just say that your child smelling like "baked cuteness" is highly amusing.

Webmiztris said...

That last one got me feeling RILLY nostalgic! I loved Wonder Years. And friendship bracelets. omg...

I think your parents are nuts for telling you you shouldn't be going on mini vacations anymore since you're no longer a teenager! I think, if anything, you should have MORE breaks as a parent! Sheesh! Remember that lady that drowned her kids in the tub? I bet she never went on vacation! ;)

jali said...

I've read every book in my library (even the bad ones) at least twice. I'll never throw a book away. I have books in storage in Delaware that I can't afford to ship here.

Reading really soothes me.

Masterbation too.

Tug said...

I'm not sane, so I've got nothing. But just had to say your baby stuff cracked me up!

karaoke queen said...

Books, tatertots - especially the ones I discovered here in Japan that have cheese in them, and a whole lotta craziness in between sanity.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

ha. very nice. I thought I no longer had a heart, but somehow you seemed to find it with your "baked cuteness" and "the viking hubby".


Riss said...

I like this post. Especially this part:

"My daughter's phermones makes me want to squish her into a little ball and put her in my pocket."

I actually do some of my best thinking while washing dishes. I told my mom it's like therapy and now she thinks I'm nuts. I'm like what, you didn't know?

Madonna said...

Madonna, boots, reading, music, smoking, Bob Barker...

I'm going to have to cross one of them off the list in a couple weeks, huh? :/

Guess I need more boots.

Kristi said...

Vintage books, dr. pepper, fabric softener, Jimmy Stewart, crocheting...good grief. I'm actually an old lady and didn't know it.