Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A Bad Taste In My Mouth... And NO, I didn't kiss Star Jones.

The thing about a blog is that in the beginning it was meant to be somewhat private. A online journal for a few friends to peruse but then you go to other blogs and check them out, comment, they go to your blog, comment, you link each other, other bloggers see the link, comment on yours, you comment back and so on and so forth. I love to blog and I love reading other people's blogs but one of the big drawbacks of being sucked into the blogging portal is that your blog isn't so private anymore. You put on a little censorship screen when you write posts that you wouldn't have otherwise put up had your blog remained that little semi private journal that you intended it to be in the beginning.
Where exactly am I going with this you ask? Well dear reader, I want to vent about someone SO BAD it's hurting my hair. But alas....this blog isn't THAT private.....and there is a small, yet bigger than a breadbasket chance that someone else that I care about could read the blog and be hurt by my harsh, yet beautifully poetic, words. (HA!) I guess this is good, because as much as I like to wear my eyepatch, sneer at people and pretend to be hardcore, I'm usually a sickenly happy person in real life. Sometimes I have an out of body experience, watch myself skip along the world with my "lookit the bright side" attitude and my soul dry heaves. My soul secretly longs to start a new blog about how it wants to bitch slap the happy smirk off my face.
I'm just usually not a bitter or hateful person in general.

I'm saying all this so you can understand that when something (or in this case, SOMEONE) affects me bad enough to hurt my hair follicles, that it's usually warranted. That I DID TRY to give it a chance. That I DID TRY to look at the bright side. That I DID TRY to give someone the benefit of the doubt. That I DID TRY and think the whole time.."maybe it's just me."
I tried...but I have come to the conclusion that IT'S NOT ME.
IT'S YOU.

YOU pretentious, self rightous, preening, wanna-be, materialistic, fatass, piece of shit poseur,
I had a bad first impression,
I have a worst second impression,
I hope someone sees you for the shallow pool of belly cheese that you are.
Fuck You "Big Gay Al."



and to quote Forrest Gump,
"That's all I have to say about that..."

The end. My hair still kind of hurts though...

EDIT: Please note, I LOVE BIG GAY AL people. I really do......but believe me when I say that the resemblance and the clothing is UNCANNY. How about I call him a diseased, morbidly obese Bobby Trendy??..would that be better?




EDIT EDIT: WAIT WAIT WAIT. I just found a better picture of him online:




Tee hee.

10 comments:

Ice said...

... like a big cramping fart in your system...

GLAD YOU LET IT OUT!!!

I hope you feel better little Missy :)

That's healthy to just 'let it out'

I hope you don't close shop, I just found you a week ago so I'd feel super ripped off...

Elaine said...

Ice: Yes it does feel good to let it out..even if it was just a little tooter fart. hahah! And no I'm not closing shop. I tried to do that already last November and I just can't NOT blog. So I'm here to stay. :D

Webmiztris said...

but how can you not love big gay al? he's FABULOUS!!111!!

jali said...

Big Gay Al was one of my favorite characters on the show. Please find something else to call the doofus dude in your life. BGA is a gentle soul.

What the hell did he do?

Elaine said...

Jali and Webmiztris: Okay, I love big gay al too girls..I only use the reference because of the uncanny resemblance. But you're right. Gay Al doesn't deserve it.....

Tug said...

I am sooooooooooooooo lost........

SHADOW said...

Eh Yo, I'm a New Yorka, And I Don't Take People Stressing Me Or Odda People Lightly. *Hikes Up Pants And Spits*

You Just Tell Me Who Da Douche Is And I'll Have Dere Nuts On Ya Breakfust Plate First Ting In Da Mornin.

*Snarls And Grunts*

jali said...

Great edit. That last photo is hilarious!!!!

Miss-Informed said...

Look at you! A optimistic soul! Glad to know it about you girl. Me too!

Madonna said...

Sometimes you just gotta let it out. Believe me, I know.

Hopefully you're feeling better now.