I've Gone and Got Sentimental On Your Ass...

R.I.P. ANNA NICOLE SMITH: 1967-2007

It feels really inappropriate today to be writing up Fan Letter Fridays with Anna Nicole’s sudden death yesterday.
I know, I know, she wasn’t exactly Oprah, other, more noteworthy people have passed on before Anna and really, I wasn’t a big fan of hers. Much of the drama in her life were so bizarre it almost seemed like she was a cartoon and not an actual person. But when I heard she was dead, I was surprised that I felt really sorry for her. I don’t know much about her background or her upbringing, but I do know that she was estranged from her family and did not have a lot of friends who knew her when she WASN’T famous. To be under such public scrutiny and to be in the “industry” without having any type of support system like family and real friends, is basically like walking into a lion’s den with a suit made of steaks. Hollywood is an evil, soul sucking machine that will put you upside down on a pedestal and tell you how wonderful you are until they squeeze all the money they can possibly squeeze out of you, (or until you turn 30-ish) then they knock you off that pedestal and leave you for the vultures. I remember I was watching The Anna Nicole Show a couple years back and in one episode, she was invited to have a small reunion with past models for Guess or Playboy, I cannot remember which one. But this was at a time when Anna was seriously fat. Good ol' Anna went anyways, not caring about the fact that she had gained 100 plus pounds. When she got to the party, I felt so bad for her. No one at the party spoke to her, they greeted her nicely enough when she walked in, but mostly they were laughing behind her back. Anna was acting like she didn't care, but you could tell in her face that it really affected her. Fast forward to when she lost weight with “Trim Spa” …all of a sudden people were clamoring to put her on talk shows, award shows and telling her how fabulous she was now that she was thin, but still secretly laughing behind her back. And so it goes in Hollywood.

It’s really no wonder that Anna was tanked with sedatives half the time. She had fame, she had money but she was obviously a lost person. The only family she did have around her, her son, died and I think by the time her daughter came, she was far too gone to straighten her act up. I’m pretty sure that no one in her circle, that creepy Howard K. Stern guy included, could be trusted, even though I think Anna was naïve enough to think that those people were sincerely looking out for her best interest (and you KNOW they weren’t). Despite all the controversy surrounding her, I think Anna was just a simple girl who wanted to be accepted and loved, but did not have the direction or guidance to get it the right way. I’m sure a lot of people are living that way, except in Anna’s case everyone was watching her stumble around trying to find it and taking pictures to boot.

So today, in poor Anna’s memory, I’m going to tip back a few girly drinks for her and wish her well. A sucky life she did lead and hopefully she’s with her son and is at peace. I also hope her 5 month daughter will be well taken care of. Poor little girl.

And remember, when you’re piss drunk this weekend, stumbling around trying not to hurl your tacos, be grateful that there are no photographers outside waiting for you to take a shit in your pants so they can put it on the cover of Us Weekly. Be grateful that your crotch wasn’t the topic of celebrity blogs when you indulged in a little special brownie treat that caused you to forget to your underwear when you put on your extremely short jean skirt. Give thanks that when you were doing the Trytolickownbutt pose in yoga class and accidentally let out a little tooter, that there was no one nearby texting People Magazine about how your farts smell a lot like raw sewage. And finally, take peace in knowing that no one knows about that time you participated in a wet T-shirt contest in Mexico and then grabbed your crotch and flipped off the crowd when they demanded you take it all off. That’s still my little secre….I mean, YOUR little secret. No one will ever know about nor will it make an appearance on MSNBC’s scrolling ticker.

Rest in Peace girl.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!!!