Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Hell...in bite sized pieces brought to you by Tostinos.

So this year, my resolution is NO RESOLUTIONS. Because I'm still kind of busy with the resolutions I made last year...I half assed all of them and I'm using this year to finish up. Does that count?

Christmas and New Years was quite mellow at our household. Christmas was spent with family and New Years was spent watching movies with the hubster and eating Tostino's pizza rolls. which, FYI...the rolls come out of the oven fairly hot, as should be expected. However, the "pizza filling" inside? The word "hot" does not describe the volcanic spew that awaits your poor unsuspecting tongue. The innocent looking rolls also have microscopic holes on the side so when you bite into them ...( after YOU THINK it has cooled off.. but nay, REMEMBER the lava that awaits you with each and every bite. ) ...the searing hot pizza slash hell's spit SHOOT OUT from these sneaky holes. So, in my case, my tongue was not the victim as much as my cheek. Damn you Tostino's and your evil, yet deliciously good pizza lava rolls. A burned cheek and seared tastebuds. (I told you, they're hot but still deliciously good..I for one, cannot sit there and wait for hot steamy goodness to "cool off." Warriors eat past the pain. Remember that.)
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ME courtesy of of Tostinos.

Speaking of eating, no seriously. I need to stop. Yes, I know, I know. The whole "losing weight and working out" resolution is about as cliche' as a Hollywood irreconcillable differences divorce..(did that make sense? Hey, its early. You know what I mean and if you don't, please just nod and smile). I've hit rock bottom people. Let's just say, if the midget doesn't quit, the oompa loompa council is going to be mailing me an application to join their team.
And really, I just need to schedule some general "maintenance" on myself because, for those of you who know me, I can be a tad teeny tiny obsessive with things that I love. On the mountain of things that I adore, my daughter is on top of that mountain. So I'm literally this girl's butler, dance partner, co-play doh village creator, potty trainer, stylist, publicist, bodyguard..you get the drift. Top that off with attending to the hubster, no attention has been paid to poor lil ol' me. Two toppers of my maintenance list is:

Hair - need to get a cut and style of some sort besides the "grown out mo-hawk, almost a modern day mullet" that I'm sporting right now.

Wardrobe - circa 1987. I'm thinking its time to go shopping at some point.

So I take it back...I guess I made a resolution right there didn't I?

In other news, I finally saw Superman Returns on New Years and SWOONED for Brandon Routh only because I was in complete awe of how much he acted like my first true love. When Superman makes his first daring airplane save in the movie, I looked like this:



No seriously. That's me. (I told you I needed some maintenance.)
Except picture it with more drooling and more tongue wagging.

What can I say, I'm a sucker for a hero in tights.


ROWR. YUM. and what not...

11 comments:

Dark Damian said...

Happy New Year, midget!

Eat some lumpia for me, since my Filipina is long gone now.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I've got Superman Returns in my queue. I can hardly wait to see those tights.

Some Random Girl said...

I hate resolutions. I refuse to do them. it only makes me feel like an even bigger failure.

Anonymous said...

Can you send me some Tostinos over please, oh can you heat them there before you mail them, sounds like they'd be perfect by the time they get here. Thanks in advance.

CP said...

2 words for ya.

Christopher.
Reeves.

There IS no other superman.

CP.

Happy New Year, Midge.

Elaine said...

dd: Oh believe me, I ate my share, you share and a small village's share of lumpia on xmas AND new years. It was wrong but sooooo delicious.

LBB: you'll love it and remember, you can get some awesome tights on ebay for cheap. :P

somerandomgirl: yeah, I try not to make resolutions but I always fail. I always end up making some because I can't help myself. I always dream big in January and by March, the dream is about as big as a marble. But this year it will be different! I swear!

Vincent: Sending them over right now. They will be coming in a box with a toxic hazard symbol on it and the mailman will deliver them to you with oven gloves. ENJOY!

CP: Girl I totally agree but since my love has gone on to a better place, I have no shame in taking in a few substitutes. I guess if anyone should play Superman besides Reeve, Routh was the best choice.

Anonymous said...

Mmmmmm...pizza thingies.

Yes he does look alot like the original superman which was great. Loved him, but didn't really like the movie alot.

Anonymous said...

Yo shawty it's ya birfday.


Damn! Is this YOUR theme song since you're not the tallest in the group?

Just posted the above craziness cause I'm so happy to see you again lil' midge and I'm trying to be gruff instead of all soppy.

Damn! I DO want to be yo9ur bitch...sniff.

Anonymous said...

"Warriors eat past the pain."

WORD! This is my motto.

And those pizza rolls are good as hell. I always burn my tongue on them becuase they don't taste as good lukewarm or cold.

Softball Slut said...

OH my Baby Jesus. I love everthing that is Pizza Rolls. The combination and just pepperoni ones?! HEAVENLY!! TO DIE FOR!! You hear ME?! I am craving it now. I loves the pizza rolls.
"Lemme see your pizza roll. To that left, left. To that right, right. Now dip it baby dip it, dip it baby dip it (in ranch dressing)"

Miss-Informed said...

Yup this fellow Warrior can relate! I have suffered many a peeling gum from 3rd degree burns caused by the vindictive little Tostino bites. Mmmm. Makes me wanna go get me some. I must be in the mood for some scalding! ***Psst, I hear The Hills is coming back on next Monday.