Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The Hills Vs. The Beach...Long Beach that is....

I've been glued to this show called "The Hills" on MTV. (Season Finale this week! Sniff.) Quick summary of the show. It follows LC, from Laguna Beach, as she moves to L.A. goes to college with FIDM (Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising) and has an internship with Teen Vogue. True indeed that she is going through what every college student goes through as far as moving to a new place, starting college, making new friends, life on your own, etc; and I can't help but compare LC's experience with mine, since I also went to college for Fashion Merchandising (Brooks in Long Beach); however, the similarities abruptly end there.

Whilst LC moves to a posh apartment in West Hollywood, (that I couldn't even hope to afford back then OR even NOW for that matter,) I get flashbacks of my mortar and brick dorm room (jail) with a intercom on the ceiling from which they would use to squack at you to please re-check your guest in at the security booth. (You couldn't have guests in your room for more than two hours without rechecking them in...) Or just for shits and giggles, they would turn on the intercom to listen in on your conversations. Oh and you couldn't have any appliances such as a blender or a microwave. We quickly learned why this rule was enforced after the fuse went out of our entire building when we attempted to heat up a Hot Pocket and blow dry our hair at the same time.

There's one scene in the show where LC is in between classes and she's killing time at the school's computer room that could have easily doubled as a posh night club. It was equipped with swanky, ergonomically designed lounge chairs, each with its very own laptop. Our computer room looked like a renovated closet, equipped with plastic lawn chairs, a cement floor and Commodore 64s as far as the eye could see.

LC and her friends frequent all the hot, trendy nightclubs in Hollywood each week. The patrons of these clubs are usually peppered with hot young celebrities such as Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, etc. Our friends and I frequented Kokomos in Irvine, which would let our broke asses in free before 8:00 pm and the patrons of this club were peppered with young Marines, old pervy men and drunk frat boys. Lets not forget the free nachos day on Wednesday night, which also doubled as dinner for us. And THAT ladies and gents is what you call, "big pimpin."

LC's roommate, Heidi, drops out of college after the second day and gets a job at a top event planning company called Bolthouse. AGAIN. An opportunity that only arises on "reality shows." Oh sure, there were many jobs available for us back in college as well, but it was usually with top companies such as Denny's, Taco Bell or Ross Dress 4 Less. For those college girls who really wanted to rake in the cash, there was also a Cheetahs down the street, but you had to have "dancing" experience. The exotic kind.

LC and Friends drive brand new BMWs, Range Rovers, Escalades. I drove a beat up 92' Ford Mustang. Corollas, Hyundais and Geo Metros was the usual college G-ride, and most of my friends utilized a lovely thing called public transportation.

LC and Her college friends in a professional studio:

My college friends, broke on Christmas, yukking it up in my dorm room...(ignore the girl airing out her crotch..its nobody you know...):

SO, they live their richie poo poo lives, have drama with their boyfriends, and the season finale has LC TORN between living with her boyfriend at a beach house during the summer or interning in Paris for Teen Vogue. Is it just me or is this a no-brainer? The dust cloud I would have left for my boyfriend would form a lovely"SEE YA!," as I flitted off to Paris. I don't know. I'm just a cold hearted biznatch like that. If she stays and shacks up with her boyfriend for the summer, I'm going to have an anuerism.

I guess I can finish this post off and explain why a 29 year old chick like me would be watching such a fluff show.. but I think the words "sad"and "pathetic" as well as the term "reliving ones hayday" can pretty much sum up the explanation.



Laurie said...

I am CRYING over here!

God that was some funny shit.

Thanks for making me laugh on a day where I just would like to crawl back into bed and cover up and sleep for ten hours. Mama needed a pick me up.

Oh...and nice feet.

Judy said...

Don't worry, I watch that show als (and I can't wait until the new "Laguna Beach" begins). As for LC's college experience, they're always going out to expensive fancy dinners! I think the "fanciest" dinner I went to while at SDSU was Chili's. That's only on a Fri. after payday from Ross-Dress4Less.
That college picture you have is great!

Dark Damian said...

Damn, girl. You and your friends? Modelrific. You had "star" written all over you.

In Crayola magic marker.

As a prank.

It comes out with soap and water.

Kim said...

Cheetas! LOL!

Yeah, sadly, I am also hooked. It's #1 on my DVR priority list right now. What is wrong with me?

Miss-Informed said...

Okay, okay don't trip re: pic. We have all seen delivery room shots before...LOL! As far as The Hills go I am sadly as hooked as you. Isn't Audriana so beautiful? Isn't Jason a dick wad? Isn't it fun to live vicariously through someone so rich and fab with so many oppurtunities who hasn't saddled herself with husband and kids?

NeverEnough said...

Good shit, as usual!! And I'm with Laurie - nice feet!

Softball Slut said...

I think she stayed because there were pics of her and Jason this summer. Now I am going to put a beat down on her ass for being so farking stupid. What an asshat. Sheeesshhh

Elaine said...

Laurie: Cutest midget feet in town yo. :D

Judy: Remember when you worked for Ross.. what did you work there like a day!?!? Yeah, the fanciest dinner we had was at The Outback and we saved UP for that shit!!

dd: I shower around the Crayola drawn Star ..so it doesn't wash off...it kind of smells a little....

Kim: HAHAHA! Yes! The Hills is on my DVR too!! Wed. are the best because I get The Hills and Project Runway!

missinformed: Jason is a dickwad, but oddly enough, I'm pulling for those two. I think he might be a sweet guy if he would just lay off the drama and the jealousy. Audrina is pretty but whoo boy.. she sounds like she only has two brain cells.. and they're fighting.....Yes. The Hills is great to watch for all their rich excesses and what they deem to be "problems." Like Heidi being shocked and dismayed at actually having to work at her new job! Idiot.

neverenough: You lovin' on the midget feet too huh? Yeah. They're pretty irresistable! :D

softball slut: BITE YOUR TONGUE. Please tell me you're joking! If she stays, I'm going to be screaming at my T.v. tonight...that's a guarantee!

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

fuck that action elaine! If I win the lottery I'm going 50/50 with you. We'll show MTV that we can be as big as ingrates as the rest of 'em!

karaoke queen said...

Sadly I am missing these fantastic fluff shows in North America. Instead, I get to watch Japanese people doing crazy shit to themselves live on television. Just as entertaining but all 1 offs. No drama, just stupid injuries.

E, love the crotch shot. And your room reminds me of my husbands (boyfriend at the time) dorm room. So stark and white (off-white due to pervious occupants) and sterile. Cleaner than his place though as he shared a living/kitchen with 5 other guys. Mmmmm. Gotta love college dorms.

Softball Slut said...

Soooo what happened? I was out for my birthday?? NEED TO KNOW UPDATE!!!

The Hills, Laguna Beach, Sweet Sixteen, Tiara Girls. AD-DICK-TED. I am addicted to those stupid shows and those stupid kids

Miss-Informed said...

...And that's a wrap! She stayed with the boyfriend. They were cute together and you can see how much progress they have made. Audrina and Hiedi are idiots. Shallow snobs. I hated how Hiedi said, I am reverting back to how I behaved in pre-school...like everyone does that. NO evolution there.

Some Random Girl said...

It's sad how our view gets distorted because of television shows. This is why there is anorexia and women think they can have it all and wait til they are in their 40's to have kids, all the while becoming infertile and having the do IVF.....my rant on the rich folk. Thanks for giving my daughter the expectation of being LC someday. This is why I gave up my cable. That and my addiction to it! fuckers.

Miss-Informed said...

Geez Random Girl, shame us all...Boohoo we are all dumbees for being lured in by their fast cars and shiny lipgloss...DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!...psst, Elaine, can't wait for next season!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I make it policy NEVER to watch MTV.