Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A Drunken Walk Through Memory Lane: College Edition

B, remember the time when you had to go pee really bad on the way home? By the time we finally walked up to our dorm room, I was confused because you were walking around gathering up your pajamas calmly. I asked you, "I thought you needed to go to the bathroom really bad?" without missing a beat, you drunkenly replied, "Girl don't tell no one, but I peed as we were climbing up the stairs."

M, remember the time you were going to wear church clothes to the club being from Texas and all. Remember how I zipped you over to the mall to get your first mini skirt, your very first thong and your first mile high, spice girl heels? (I was such a wonderful influence). Remember how you were rocking the outfit as we walked downstairs to our car but then you tripped on your shoes (stilts) and slid on your mini-skirted ass on the last flight of steps, showing everyone in the parking lot your brand new thong?

M, remember meeting each other in line to get our IDs? Remember your first roommate, Jamon'? (her name was HAM in Spanish people.. I couldn't get over it...)

J,M,B. Remember the times where we would pull up to our dorms after a long drive from Tijuana, Mexico? The sun would be up and we would get caught in the morning commute????

J,M,B. Remember how we would bring our pajamas with us and change in the car once we got back from the club? That way we could just fall straight into bed when we got back to our dorm?
J,M. Remember when some asshole put a roofie in my drink and yet I still managed to walk by myself across the border as if I was some kind of runway model? (Of course after I crossed the border, I immediately had to re-use my crutches, who happened to be J and M.) Thanks guys!

J,M,B. Remember all those idiot guys who let us videotape them wanking their weenies? Remember the guy who had a teeny snausage and B was caught on tape laughing her ass off as he whooped it out? (you're so cruel girl.. at least I bit my lip..)

M,B. The guy who wanked it and ate it. ON. TAPE. Nuff said.

M, Remember when you introduced me to Brad? I think it went something like this:
"Oh hell ya, check it out. there's your type Laine, right there. Check him out."
"Wheres?" (already drunk)
"right there, go pinch his ass and say what's up."
"Right-O. I'll be right back."
(And that is how I met the hubby. ROOO MANCE!)

J,B. Remember getting drunk for the first time together in our dorm on Avalanche?? Blech. Then I drank a beer afterwards and puked at the beach. NICE.

J,M,B. Remember when Amy was dancing on the table one minute and then had a spectacular fall after a mis-step during the "choo choo train" song.. right into TJ mud too. Ewwww. (TJ mud consists of alchohol, dust, puke, food and god knows what else.. TJ mud does not COME OFF of your clothes. Its there. Forever.)

J,B, remember when J hooked up with that guy who passed out in our car so we ended up taking him back to J's place? Remember the next morning how freaked out he was when we lied and told him that we had driven him back all the way to Arizona and we couldn't give him a ride back because we all had work? How we all kept a straight face, I will never know. (God, we were some fucked up chicks.) EDIT: J Says- FYI it was B, that brang home the guy we fooled in believing he was in AZ. Remember they slept under my dining table?:) When you gals knocked on the door I let you in and tried to shut it and had an unexpected dude that was with b walked in last.

J,M,B. Remember when we were all in the car and realized we almost had the entire world in there? (J,- American Indian, me-Filipino/Asian B-African American, M-Hispanic, Amy-Caucasian)

J,M,B. Last minute TJ trips, B taking her sweet ass time to get ready, everyone else getting ready in 5 minutes, swearing never to go to TJ again but we ended up breaking that swear by Wed. night, every weekend started on Wednesday night, not having hangovers even though we drank about fifty gajillion tequila type drinks,late night drunken dinners at Del Taco by Oceanside, going to Kokomos before 8pm so we could get in free because we were broke ass college students....

Good times.

I miss you guys.


Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Man, Elaine. You sound like a megaton of fun. I wish I had a girl like you in my past.

Debi said...

Oooooo guh... B's gonna KILL you. Let's go to Vegas and pretend we're that young again. Gwiiiido!

Elaine said...

lbb: Thanks! (although if you were my friend back then, you would have been documented on our infamous "Boys Gone Wild" tape! LOL.. sorry, we couldn't help ourselves.. ) we all had so much fun in college.. its a wonder how I ever graduated! lol!

Debi: B NEVER reads my blog and this is my punishment for her neglect. HEE. GWIIIIIDOH!!

Laurie said...


I wanted to be the caucasian friend.

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

the pinching of the butt and the saying "whats up" wins my vote for the best pick-up line ever!

Riss said...

Oh man Elaine... I am so tempted now to put up a similar post. It would be fouler though. "Hey E, remember that time you got super drunk and fingerbanged that midget."

Elaine said...

Laurie: Yeah, the Caucasian ticket was in great demand. Had to be there early to snatch it up! :D

Riss: I DO remember that time! LOL!

idighootch: thank you! I'm quite the pick up pimp huh? Hey! I can't say it didnt work.. it goes over better than my drunken:
"Is your name Chu? Cuz Chu are Fiiinnneee."

Kim said...

Oh man, why did you have to go and remind me of a horrific night I had crawling back to the US from TJ?! Why?! I swear, I was thirsty and didn't know jungle juice had so much alcohol. All I can realy recall from my fateful night in TJ, besides the vomit plastered on the side of the car from me puking out the window on the 5 North, was a bloody white guy without shoes asking us if he could walk back across the border with us. He was beat down in TJ for his Nikes. Yeah, awesome.

Alyson said...

haha, I think I just lived every college dream I never got to experience, just by reading that post. Woot. Woot.

popfizz said...

i skipped college and just got drunk and joined in in orgies w/o having to pay back loans.

Elaine said...

Aaah Fizz, that explains a lot actually.