Monday, February 13, 2006

" Green Acres is the place to be...."

I still don't know how this worked out...

Brad: Missouri country boy.
Elaine: Filipino city girl.

Brad: Would rather go camping with the "bare essentials," (knife and matches..seriously, he's gone camping with just THAT and had a better meal than I did at home..)
Elaine: Travel overseas and order room service all the live long day.

Brad: Prefers to stay home.
Elaine: What comes before part B??? PART-A!!! ...... babeee!!

Brad: Quiet and gets to the point
Elaine: Can sometimes be heard from space, prone to rambling about a whole lotta nothing, often sidetracked by glittery bright things within view.

Brad: Likes the Sci Fi channel and country music
Elaine: Likes to laugh at him for liking the Sci Fi channel and will listen to almost anything BUT country music.

Brad: Reads hunting/fishing magazines and westerns novels
Elaine: Reads celebrity trash mags and Stephen King

Brad: Longs to live in a log cabin in Alaska
Elaine: Longs to live someplace tropical where alcoholic drinks with cute umbrellas are abundant.

Brad: Logical, scientific, good with numbers.
Elaine: Observes the night sky for any UFOs flitting about and makes up full fledged, dramatic stories about random strangers at the mall.

On paper, it appears that were are SO NOT a match. In fact, had I met Brad during my high strung, obnoxious high school years, we really would not have gotten along. Only because back then, I was used to wearing the pants in the relationship and I was young, demanding, STUPID. Anyways, thank god I matured a bit and OH yeah, I got drunk enough at that bar to pinch Brad's ass. Okay, so meeting Brad was kind of a fluke. I had just gotten out of a long relationship and wasn't really looking to jump into another one. I hardly thought that the cute guy's butt I had pinched at that seedy bar in Tijuana was my future husband's! But here we are, 8 years strong and that butt is still as pinchable as ever. So in the spirit of amore' and Valentine's day, here's a list of why my husband rocks da house.

1. He is evidence that you can have brains AND brawn. A nuclear engineer (in the Navy) who is now a construction foreman because he refuses to be a "pencil pusher" (as he puts it) and still respects a sweaty hard day's work over prestige.

2. He's my hillibilly Emeril and short order cook. The man can cook up some grub! After a hard day's work, he washes his hands and cooks dinner for his daughter and kitchen disabled wife and enjoys every minute of it.

3. He wears the pants (yay!) but lets me borrow them on occasion.. for novelty's sake....

4. He is IN LOVE with his daughter. After having Maddy, he's decided that he wants all girls from now on. I love how they both greet each other when Brad comes home from work. She yells, "DADDY!!" he yells, "Baby!!" and they both give each other big hugs. Later, when Brad takes off his shirt, she demands to run around with her shirt off also, so she can be just like her Daddy.

5. His "Todai" dance, when we decide to go out for some sushi. I must tape it because he looks a lot like a polar bear..if the polar bear had the inclination to dance after gorging on a seal.....

6. He goes outside of himself to try anything and go anywhere, even though it doesn't come naturally for him. (he's from Missouri.. which doesn't really coincide with the word "change" and where driving a half hour to go anywhere is considered a long ass drive.)

7. How he embraces my family and our culture. He has an "Honorary Filipino" card in his back pocket... along with a dried up lumpia...

8. His smartass attitude and sacrastic sense of humor. I laugh hard at least once a day.

9. Play that funky music white boy. Brad's a dancing machine and isn't afraid to break it down when the mood hits him.

10. His bluntness.. which could easily be construed as rude. (I like to think he's just honest, but lacks a "subtle filter"). If there is an annoying person within hearing range, Brad, in a very no nonsense manner, will tell them to please shut the fuck up. Or my favorite saying, used primarily at his job... "if I want your opinion, I'll just ask, "hey dumbfuck, what do you think?" Seriously. He's just blunt. really. Otherwise, he's a super nice guy..

11. The man can build a building but can't call "Domino's" to order pizza. Seriously, he has like phobia about it. I'm the designated pizza order-er.

12. He has a slight case of social anxiety disorder but refuses to believe there is such a thing. I think its kind of funny/cute when he gets all stressed out about social situations and bites his
non-existent fingernails.

13. He picks out really good, romantic greeting cards. He doesn't write me poetic sonnets because somehow, he always find a card that says it all. Meanwhile, I pick the cards that are completely inappropriate and has the word "gyrate" in it.

14. He almost always manages to bring all the groceries into the house with just one or two trips. I don't know how he does it but I think he could work for a circus somewhere.

15. Babies love Brad and Brad loves babies.

16. How he is passionate and dedicated about anything he loves. Almost to a fault. For example, when the man fishes, he will wake up at 4:00 am and happily fish all day long, with no breaks. He's never been late for work and is usually the first one there, even when he had to drive two hours from L.A. to San Diego. (with working starting at 6:30 am).

17. He's secretly vain. At one point, he requested that I quit buying bar soap because he preferred the "loofa thingy" and liquid soap combo.

18. He can make gravy from scratch!! Okay, I know that's probably not a big deal but to me that's practically magic.

19. Brad's a do-it yourself-er. He can fix cars, build a bookcase and cook a lasagna. I know, I'm always referring to his cooking skills but as a self proclaimed food whore (what up Riss!), I can't tell you how lucky I got nabbing a guy who cooks. (otherwise it would be a toast and top ramen dinner every night!)

20. He takes excellent care of me when I get sick. One time he made me chicken soup (from scratch) and a grilled cheese sandwich, which he cut up into little squares so I could dip it into my soup. Seriously, this guy had me at ..."Hello..what do you want for dinner?"

I could go on and on but really, what I'm trying to say is:

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BRADDLE BUTT! ;)

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(hee hee.. to everyone else, feel free to call my husband Braddle butt when you meet him. He loves it. I swear).

10 comments:

Alyson said...

Awww! That is the absolute, sweetest thing I've ever read! Happy Valentine's Day! (Now go eat something, 'cause you KNOW he's going to make something FABULOUS!)

Kim said...

Awwwww is right! Happy Valentines Day to you and your family!

So is lumpia that bread thing with the purple filling in the middle?

Judy said...

Brad's the perfect match for you despite the differences. He's the muscle guy you used to draw on everything when you were in Jr.High! Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Hell, after reading this, I want to suck his dick.

Does Thursday work for you guys?

Riss said...

Awww I like him too.

Of course, now I feel like the worst wife ever because I'm lagging on a similar post for Geo.

Elaine said...

Kim: Lumpia is like a really small eggroll (like finger sized). Dipped in some soy sauce,vinegar and lemon juice, it's heaven at your fingertips! I know that dessert you're talking about though.. the name escapes me... BAD FILIPINO GIRL.

LBB: ROLF! I think we could manage Thursday as long as we do the ol' switcheroo.. the ol' man will never know the difference...

Debi said...

He really is the perfect man. Usually, I'd ask, "Does he have a brother?" but I already know the sad ending to that story.

Speaking of lumpia and dessert - I know there's probably a more specific name for it, but banana lumpia is DA BOMB!!!!!!

Elaine said...

Damn you debs. How dare you bring up "turons" (that banana lumpia thing you're talking about..)when I'm on a diet! God. I think I started salivating the instant I read your sentence! LOL!

Julie Jewels said...

How can you be so mushy and still be so darned funny?

That has got to be the sweetest post I've read! And WOWSERS! What a catch you have! A man that can cook is like a god to me! Mine can do the pizza ordering thing like a pro!! LOL

Happy Valentines Day Braddle Butt and Elaine!!!
You will report on what he cooks for you tonight, right? the rest of the details you can keep to yourself! *wink

Shannon Bieger said...

It's funny to see how opposite you two are because I know you're perfect for each other. I'm surprised he has social anxieties because I have always considered Brad to be so personable!! And you're totally right that he loves babies and they love him. I remember being shocked that McKenna took to him. You'd think she'd be scared of him - looking like a bad ass and all. But she loved him!