Friday, April 22, 2011

Happy Easter, Now Don't Be A Twat.....

When you meet me, there are a couple things that you can count on.....

A. I'm almost never taking you seriously.
B. I can be bribed into anything with the promise of ice cream.
C. I NEVER talk about religion, specifically MY religion.

Easter is one of those holidays that I barely celebrate. I celebrate it in the form of getting my daughter a basketful of novelty toys and a sugar rush shaped like a bunny and wrapped in foil. However, we don't celebrate in the religious sense. The one thing I don't like about the holiday is that, oddly enough, it's the time of year that my religion (or lack thereof) gets questioned and brought to the forefront, more so than Christmas. (Even if I'm there, shoulder to shoulder with them at Wal-Greens, getting edible grass to fill my Easter basket.)

So when I tell someone religious that I believe in God but I don't believe in religion, it requires more explanation and more talk of religion. Ugh.

The best way I can explain my thoughts is to picture God as a giant, beautiful painting. Religion would be like looking at this beautiful painting so closely, that all you can see is the harsh colors, straight lines and hard edges, nothing is very clear and you're blind to what the painting actually is. I personally believe that all religions are just looking at different pieces of the same painting a little too closely.

And if my explanation isn't enough; here it is visually, with the help of Paint.


As you can see, each lifelike stick figure (thank you) represents a religion looking way too closely at things and arguing about what they see - when really all they see is the same damn thing. They just need to back it up a notch. I guess if I did have to pick a religion, you can probably tell from that picture I'm more of a Buddhist than anything else.

So can we stop talking about it now and move on to more important things like WTF MCDONALDS!? Can you believe the citizens in the good ol' U.S. of A. have gone without knowing the sweet delight of a Cadbury McFlurry as Canada (yes Canada, I forgot they were up there too..except for J, who was the one that made me aware of the existence of the Cadbury McFlurry. Show off.) Canada, of all places, lives it up, Cadbury ice cream style, at every local McDonalds??? That has to be some kind of sin or at least a misdemeanor of some sort. I don't know what it is exactly but it's something not good and it needs to be stopped. That I know for sure.

3 comments:

Erica said...

Great, just another reason to be jealous of Canada.

Jan @twoscoopz said...

Buahahaaaaa!!! Suck it up, buttercup. Want me to send you the framed photo of said McFlurry?

I totally get you on the rest of it. Similar views here.
That you'll never hear about ;)

Word Nerd said...

We do Santa Christmases and Chocolate-bunny overload Easters. A few years back @MySpace, I said that I believed in God, but wasn't a Christian.

Holy shit.

My pm inbox experienced a flood of Biblical proportions (hehehe) from people expressing everything from quiet agreement (with requests that I not out them) to one utter whack job who unfriended me, but not before sending me a lengthy, rambling, hate-filled letter. She went so far as to accuse me of purposefully deceiving people because I presented myself as a "good Christian woman" by talking about how I loved my husband, kids, and grandkids. Then she told me that she had to end our friendship because she saw no point in being friends with someone on earth who would not be with her in heaven.

Well, okay.