Friday, July 07, 2006

Fan Letter Fridays has been taken Hostage by The Hoff.

Um. Yeah. No Fan Letter Fridays this week (duck) because:

A) in my head its technically Wednesday
B) If I write another letter to Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton, Tom Cruise, and all the other easy targets, I'm going to slice myself. I got nuttin'.
C) I'm lazy.
D) The plumber is working on my sink right now and his loud "mouth breathing" and "aroma" emanating from his pits has rendered me incapable of any coherent thought.

I'll be back in my norm form next week. Promise and true.
Don't Hate.
Love me AND love David Hasselhoff:


karaoke queen said...

OH...MY....GOD. This doesn't even sum up the feelings I have in my heart. I really don't know what to say. I thought I had seen everything. Until today. Hey, I'm first!!!!Yah!!!

Debi said...

My Fan Letter:

Dear Elaine,

It has come to my attention that you are a selfish whore. How dare you leave your peeps high and dry, whilst we’re jonsing like crack addicts on payday? Perhaps you are simply unaware of our genuine need for your sarcasm to push us through that last hellish day before the weekend. Or maybe you’re just too strung out from sniffing playdough with your daughter to care what the rest of us are going through. Either way, I freaking hate you, you f-ing skank. Put down the gay porn and get back to fulfilling your duties as our blogging bitch.


Dark Damian said...

You dare give us Knight Rider when we came here for Fan Mail? Did you forget that Laurie is now a mere couple of hours north of you, and all it takes is a phone call to make the wrath of 1000 hells rain down upon you like Jessica Simpson falling UP a flight of stairs?

(I don't know what that had to do with anything. Just roll with it.)

I'm with Debi there. You be a selfish ho who doesn't care about the needs of her audience. You better buy a CD from me as penance.

Elaine said...

I should do this more often, I love seeing you guys go through FLF withdrawals! Who knew it was like crack?!?!?! :P

Leilouta said...

My husband showed me this video a few months ago, and I couldn't believe it was him.The sad part is that the song was stuck in my little brain and I couldn't' stop singing it for the rest of the day.

Elaine said...

Oh and gay porn rules.

Right DD?

Dark Damian said...

You can kiss my chocolate ass, Laine. Like I'd know anything about gay porn.



Those guys are fucking scary. That's all I'm sayin'.

Elaine said...

DD: Muah!
..odd.. your ass taste more like dirt, mung beans... and .. (smack smack)...


Three words DD.


Now gimme back my Brokeback DVD, you've been hoarding that shit for months...

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

anyone remember the episode of knight rider when kit developed the bad attitude:

Michael Knight: Alright Kit, lets step on it, buddy!! The bad guys are geting away.

Kit: HEY!! Lay off the gas, doucheface. What do you think I am - your f'n slave?

Softball Slut said...

Oogaa chucka oooga chucka. I hate that fucking song. I cant believe I watched that whole thing. Now I am watching all the vidoes. It's like a fucking train wreck. Please someone step on my brain to get rid of the images. I feel sick.

Elaine said...

Your sidebar is fixed, Madame.

*sweeping bow*

Love you.


Dark Damian said...

Oh. No. You. Di'nt.

Cruise juice? Like he could handle me. He betta call someone more his own speed, like Clay Aiken or maybe someone from Oingo Boingo. I like coochie, myself. And you KNOW this! All insinuating that I like the man meat. Harlot. I hope you trip over a dime in the street and fall down.

Short ass.

Elaine said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Elaine said...


and FYI, trip over a dime? whatever I'm taller than THAT!

Now a quarter is whole other story.