Last Day In New York....it went by too fast. (sniff).

If you're just catching up: New York Day One
Want to see how close I got to Madge? Check here.

On our second day we decided we were going to The Metropolitan Museum first (I'm an art fan..okay so I'm really a naked sculptures and paintings fan....okay who am I kidding, I'm just fond of naked.) and then take it from there. I woke up LATE (9:30 am!) which is so unlike me but hey, I was on vacation so I think sleeping in until 9:30 wasn't too bad but we did get the day started a little late. After eating at a very trendy McDonald's (brick walls, flashing lights, video projection screens, 3 floors, brick facade, - I felt like I was eating McNuggets at a nightclub.),

Rocking out at Club McD's:

We walked for a bit to the subway, past Bryant Park and got a nice view of the Chrysler Building.

Short video of us as we walked outside our hotel and made our way to the subway. Nothing interesting, a Madonna billboard was directly in front of our hotel (fate) and I also wanted to show you the world through the eyes of a person who's 4'8....(lots of shoulders and armpits):

We finally dared the subway and after a few "oh no it's that way...oh wait, that one is going south....wait, which way do we want to go? Ask the customer service lady in the booth. wait, never mind, she sounds scary..." We arrived at the amazing Metropolitan Museum.

The steps leading up to the museum:


This guy greeted us at the door....he was wearing a funny type of cologne, smelled a little like dust, papyrus and moth balls, go figure:

Then he took us to his 'hood. It was hardcore:

We saw some lovely paintings ...5 points if you can tell me what movie this painting made an appearance in:

5 points for anyone who can tell me where this guy's ear is:

Then Joey and I said, screw this, let's get to the naked already! We warmed ourselves up with the 2 dimensional naked.....

Who wants to bet that this is this guy's MySpace default picture???

People are such whores on Myspace:


Then we got to the good stuff:




Oddly enough, my favorite sculpture is not a naked one. Its the sculpture of the writer Balzac by Rodin because rumor has it that the sculpture was made to look as if he was beating his chicken under that cloak. A symbolic way of showing his genius as a writer. or maybe it was just showing what Balzac liked to do in his spare time. With a name like Balzac, you can see were Rodin got his inspiration. Damn I love art (my picture of the sculpture was all dark so this picture was googled):

I liked it so much I decided to do my own interpretation of the sculpture....hotel style:

After making inappropriate come-ons to the masterpieces, we headed out, had a quick snack on the steps and walked briefly through central park.

Sitting on the steps:



Finally, a normal picture of me in central park:

By the time we made it back, we didn't have much time for anything else because we stayed at the Met and kind of screwed around way too long. Here's me doing a recap of our day at the pizza place (actually it was the second take...Joey's fingers were greasy from the pizza...he forgot to press the record button). The pizza was good, not spectacular but I think that's because we didn't go to the right pizza place....shoulda went to Brooklyn.



After that, we went to our room and got ready for the concert. (Read all about it here). There was a after party AFTER the concert (hence the word "after") that was right across the street but Joey and I felt we had had enough of being sandwiched in with stranger's we don't know, we weren't about to pay 30 bucks to do the same thing. So we ended our last night in New York in the middle of Times Square. It was the best way to end our faggyhaggy trip to New York.
Here's a mini movie I made of us in Times Square, being typical gawky tourists. (in one section you hear me talking about representing San Diego because I was wearing my flip flops in Times Square..but the movie maker thing cut it out.... I don't know why I felt the need to explain that..)


Best trip ever. In another life, I would have definitely lived in New York. I'm planning on visiting again and this time, hopefully, I'll have more than a two night stay. (But hey, it was free so I'm not complaining!)

Back From New York!

I was suppose to be posting my New York trip blog posts and videos daily but as you can see that didn't pan out. (had to pay for internet service, took forever to load the videos and....oh yeah, I was too tired after each day to do it).

I just posted my Madonna concert experience on my Madonna blog here. - so check it out.

Our videos from day one are at the bottom of this post...it's short because I felt sick..(read below)...and also please excuse the faux British accents that pop up in our conversation once in a while. Its not to honor Mother Madonna, it's the fact that Joey and I think we're Edina and Patty from Absolutely Fabulous.

Off to New York! : We took off at around 8:00 am and the 5 hour trip was pretty uneventful. Delta had free t.v. on that trip which is the only thing that prevented us from going stir crazy. I went to Europe once, a long time ago in college and that was a 18 hour flight or something nutty like that. I held up fine and thought to myself, oh 5 hours and some change to go to New York? No problem! However, something changed with my boody between the age of 21 and 31, going into hour 3, my ass was numb and pancake like. We thought we were home free when we finally flew over into New York - we had even gotten there a half hour early! Our celebration was rudely interrupted as our pilot attempted to land the plane. He must've gotten that pilot license online because the landing was so rough, I thought we lost a wing, the transmission and my stomach somewhere in the ocean. It shook me up bad and by the time we hit the ground, I was feeling queasy and I had a mean headache. Then we sat on the ground for another 30 minutes - which mean, naptime for me! (and picture time for Joey).....

Please excuse my "oh so stylish" no make up airport whore appearance:

By the time we got off, I looked exactly how I felt, (sodomized by a 737 with no lubage). I tried to shake it off as we checked into our hotel (The Hilton Times Square) and marveled at the view. We had just enough time to get dressed and go to Phantom Of The Opera at the Majestic Theatre, which Joey had gotten front row tickets for. And when they say front row, they meant it. We were so front row the orchestra was practically my gynecologist. We could see them under the stage - looking like they were soooo over it, which I don't blame them because they play that show 5 days a week or some such, twice on some days.

The orchestra below, looking up our skirts:

The lobby:

The guy hawking Phantom paraphernalia:

The view of the balcony:

The stage all propped up and ready:

No video was allowed obviously during the show but it was great and when Joey and I walked out, we agreed it was the gayest thing we had ever seen, up until we saw a theater across the street that was showing Xanadu - then we both agreed THAT was the gayest thing we'd ever seen.

Outside the theater:

Xanadu sign across from Phantom:

My nausea and headache was finally gone and we were feeling pretty good. We walked around Times Square like typical tourists with our mouths agape and walking way to slow. We stopped at a Ruby Tuesdays for some dinner and drinks. Oh and in case you're wondering, this is what I look like when I'm feeling good:

and this is what I look like when I cut a fart:

Oddly enough those are the same looks I used to use when I would meet a guy (picture one) and then realized he was a numb skull (picture two).

My only complaint from this day (besides the pilot in training) was Ruby Tuesday's took a chunk off our wallet, I won't say how much, but we were expecting Applebee's prices and instead we were presented with a bill that made it appear as if they sprinkled gold flakes onto our meal and that the waitress had given us both blow jobs. Sadly, it wasn't that spectacular - but whatever, lesson learned, after this we decided NY pizza and hot dog carts was a wonderful way to nourish ourselves for day two.

Videos:
Arriving...kind of a boring video...this was BEFORE the rough landing that got me nauseous:


Hotel tour while feeling nauseous, I'm trying really hard to be chipper because deep down inside I was very excited to be there:


hotel tour continued...w/ Joey doing a wonderful New York twirl and dance with the bedding:


Day two and Madonna concert recap coming later today...